Dealing with the emotional rollercoaster of a breakup or a divorce is hard enough, but when you have to hold down an important job at the same time, it can become near impossible. As a woman who runs her own business, when my heart was broken again two years ago, it cost me not only a number of sleepless nights, but it also affected my work.
For six weeks I didn’t know whether I was coming or going, however I came through it. Because of this and my divorce years previously, I decided to write a book about it called Goodbye Mr Ex as I discovered that there are ways to speed up the process of mending a broken heart so it doesn’t affect you and your work as much.
Below are just 5 ways I managed to speed up the process, as I didn’t have the time for it to carry on for too long.
Tip 1: Commit To Letting Go
Cut off all contact and de-friend him on Facebook. Delete his number off your phone, so you are not tempted to call him either sober or drunk. Stalking him on Facebook will only fuel your addiction to him.
The very nature of Facebook is to illustrate a one-sided happy life; by looking at his pictures you will inevitably start comparing your life with his, exacerbating your feelings of discontent.
Once the dust settles then you can decide whether re-friending him is something you want to do. At this point you will know whether you want to be in contact with him because you want to rather than because you need to because you want him to make you feel better.
Instead of sitting on your own at home, go out with some single friends and have some fun.
Tip 2: Change the Heartbreak Story
With every break up or divorce there is always a story of who did what to whom and the negative and positive meanings behind their actions. You may be yo-yoing from thoughts like how amazing he was, and how there will be no one else who will ever love you again like he did, to he never cared, and how if he had, that he wouldn’t have moved on so quickly.
The trick is to not buy into your thoughts and stories. Your stories are NOT the truth.
Change the meaning about what is upsetting you, by challenging your thoughts. For example, the fact that you are no longer in a relationship means that you are free.
Tip 3: Go Pamper Yourself
Pampering yourself is key if you want to feel good about yourself. When we look after ourselves, its proof that we don’t need someone else to look after us, and that you are perfectly capable of looking after you. Even if you don’t feel like it, go ahead and do it! As your body starts to relax, your mind will too and you will start to feel a lot better.
One thing I did was to book myself in for a photography shoot that made me feel amazing. What can you do right now to start to feel like you again?
Tip 4: Practice Gratitude
There is always something to be grateful for. Buy yourself a journal and write down all the positive things that your ex was here to teach you. It is valuable to understand what he brought to the table, no matter how challenging he may have been, so that you can let go and learn for the next relationship.
Write down 10 things that you are really grateful for on a daily basis – friends, the clothes on your back, your health. The moment you see what you have, you won’t be focusing on what you don’t have, which will make you feel a lot better.
Step 5: Get the right support.
Getting the right support is crucial if you want to move on and leave the past behind you.
Hiring a coach or talking to a professional will help you fast-track your grieving process and will have you up and running in no time. Why take the long route when you can take a short cut to your happiness?
If you think a relationship will make you happy, you are wrong, it is only when you find happiness from within, can you only then be truly happy in a relationship.
If you or a friend want to move on from an ex, purchase a copy of the bestselling book Goodbye Mr Ex with £400 worth of goodies to thrive after heartbreak here. Offer only open from May 26th – 27th)
– Best Selling Author, Speaker and Heartbreak Expert
Learn how to get over your ex for free: www.DivorceShift.com/GoodbyeMrEx