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5 Myths busting moments to transform your stress into peace and well-being.
While working with mothers who run their own businesses to transform their stress into an effortless lifestyle that gets results, I have seen that there is a huge misunderstanding about where their stress comes from. In fact it’s living with these myths that keeps them spiraling and tail-spinning, making their feelings of stress worse.
During my nine months of pregnancy I learnt some really valuable lessons about stress. I used to work 12 hour days and was constantly on the go, I was exhausted, which in turn had detrimental effects on my performance, decision making and my over all wellbeing.
However those days are long gone as I saw through the myths that were keeping me imprisoned and now enjoy life on my own terms. I spend time with my son when I want, I work when I want and have a deeper connection to my loved ones.
If you are a mother who is constantly on the go and find yourself fed up with the long work hours, lack of time, frustrating results and you want to find a way to work less, have more time and get better results then read on. In this article I share the myths that keep my clients trapped making them feel worse and leaving them wishing that life and business didn’t have to be this hard.
Which it doesn’t.
Myth 1 – Stress and overwhelm come from to-do lists and deadlines
I don’t know about you but I used to hate writing to do lists and working towards deadlines. My to do lists were so long, I would just get overwhelmed just by looking at them. My deadlines would loom in the future and the nearer they got the more stressed I became. The same is true for all of my clients.
However, what if you could see that your stress cannot come from a to do list or a deadline? If that were true everyone would get stressed about both, but that’s not true as there are people who are perfectly happy with both!
The only place that stress and overwhelm can ever come from is your stressful thinking – a stressed out state of mind. When you realize this, you no longer need to be held hostage to your to do list or deadlines and fear their power over you, as they have no power of you. In fact it’s impossible for the to-do list or a deadline to give you any feelings. What a relief right?
Myth 2 – By working hard, you will achieve more
Most of my clients have the firm belief that in order to achieve more, they need to do more and work hard. Usually their diaries are jammed packed full of meetings and things to do in the months ahead. While moving forwards does bear fruit, taking unnecessary action can waste a lot of time, energy and not render the results they are wanting to create.
However as their minds start to become quieter, they create more space in their diaries to rest and listen to their wisdom and replace working hard with working smart.
The end result is that they become more effective, it enhances their productivity and they start seeing amazing results.
Myth 3 – Being tired makes you more stressed
I used to think that when I was at my most tired after having had no sleep as my little one was crying through the night that it would make me more stressed. In truth feeling tired is just another feeling but it doesn’t make us feel more stressed. Only because you think it does, it will.
Have you found that there are days that you feel tired without stress? And there are days that you slept and you are stressed? Well, what is the inconsistency about?
It goes back to same thing – thought. Just as with my clients, I have found that when my head is full of noise that I feel more tired and stressed than when my head is clear and quiet.
Myth 4 – Success is a destination
Have you ever heard yourself say, “Once I have x amount of money in the bank, then I will be happy and fulfilled?” “Once I have x amount of clients then I will be successful?” “Once I have reached to this destination, then I will spend time with my kids?” Well, what if none of this is true? What if your destination or how much money or number of clients you have cannot make you feel anything?
The challenge with this inner mind game is that it has you going around and around on a hamster wheel without getting anywhere fast and has you falling out of love with the journey you are on. Even if you arrived to your destination of perceptive success, you still wouldn’t find joy, or balance as you would look again at the next destination.
The challenge with this sort of thinking is that while you haven’t arrived you don’t feel successful. And your feelings of success don’t come from what you have or what you have accrued in the bank, even if it may look that way.
However, success is not a destination it’s a journey. If this is true, then you can create your own feelings of success every day with or without the money or needing to have your business in that ideal place. How much better would that be?
Myth 5 – Your feelings of guilt come from what you are not doing
Lots of mothers I know who run businesses feel guilty. They feel guilty about spending time running their businesses when they could be spending time with their children, spend time feeling guilty about not attending to their business when they are with their family and spend time feeling guilty about taking time out for themselves when they could be working or spending time with their family!
The question that has always interested me is not what are you feeling guilty about but rather, where do you think your feelings of guilt come from?
And the answer that came to me was simple – your guilt doesn’t come from what you are not doing or doing but more from your state of mind in the moment.
If guilt came from what you are doing then everyone would feel guilty about taking time out, spending time out of their business or not enough time with their family, and they don’t.
What I know is this, if you start and keep looking in the direction of what creates your stress you will enhance your performance by using your wisdom, dissolve your guilt and feel fulfilled.
