A view of Venus from Mars – “Men, Dating & Flings”

When it comes to dating, relationships and dare I say life in general, a majority of women do compromise on what we want! Talk about What Women Really Want? Most don’t! There’s always a grey area when it comes to making decisions, says a very married and experienced man.

He's just not into you

@Warner Bros. Entertainment

According to the male view of the world, before a man makes a decision he would have typically analysed the pros and cons of the situation and would have internalised the consequences before he acts. Well the length of the processing period cannot be surely determined. For it could be a day or two, minutes, seconds and even years (in some cases) but there is some level of internal understanding that whatever decision they make, they’re prepared to address the consequences (whatever it may be). And so this processing goes onto dating. Before he makes a decision to date he would have assessed the pros and cons (if we can put that way) and  will choose one of these two options

                    –  dating you in particular makes sense, he likes you, he sees a  future (although the future is uncertain) or

                    –  he knows things can’t go any further but as you seem available, he would use the opportunity to have fun,

the consequences of disappointing his partner would be handled squarely as he sees fit.

Life on Mars is simply that!

That’s not to say men are emotionless it’s just that this dating thing is either horizontal or vertical, it’s never curved!

Citizens of Venus (women) however are different. We want to turn the straight situation ‘horizontal’ or ‘vertical’ into a curved one and end up second guessing the signals (and in doing so end up being taken advantage of) or compromising on the situation. We hold on too long, hoping that a conversation would turn for the better when in actual fact it wouldn’t! Don’t get me wrong, sometimes in gathering the information that he needs, the conversation between Mars and Venus needs to take different forms but if he’s the type who settles on a decision quickly, it goes without saying that when a girl avails herself too much he would automatically revert to his second default.

So what’s a WiseGirl got to do.. The signals say it all.. The unspoken word ‘speak’ volumes! If you are the one constantly mailing, texting, calling then beware!

It goes without saying however, that placing yourself in view (without stalking) and without pursuing increases your chances more than taking the alternative.

Remember this free leaf from the WiseGirl book as you enjoy the Holidays.

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