Fear, lack of self – assurance and feeling self – conscious are the biggest obstacles to effective communication in the workforce today.
Lack of assertiveness also limits you, along with feeling stuck because you can’t find the right words when you need to express yourself.
True power is not about having control or power over anyone, it is having the ability to influence, create an impact and get things done. True power in communication is found when the communication gets you what you want.
I used to over talk or not talk enough, I couldn’t quite grasp the fact that talking too much demonstrates insecurity, anxiety and a lack of confidence and you lose credibility and not talking enough can demonstrate passivity and again a lack of confidence and insecurity. It took me a long time to learn how to be discerning about when to speak up and when to keep quiet from a feeling of strength and empowerment and not fear.
If you want to come across immediately as competent, credible, confident, integral, efficient, and trustworthy then following these guidelines will demonstrate self – assurance, self – confidence and assertiveness and hold the attention of others, and most importantly bring you the results you want.
Conscious powerful communication
Martin Luther King, Jr knew the art of communicating, when he said, ‘I have a dream’. He didn’t waffle on saying ‘I have some good ideas that I feel would make powerful changes and are inspirational and I need you to hear me out’
First and foremost you need to have clarity about what results you want to achieve before you begin to communicate. If you don’t have clarity and your conscious mind is not setting a goal then your subconscious mind will leap in and take over, and that can result in you coming across aggressively or too passively.
It is crucial you avoid being sarcastic, being mean, and guilt tripping people, being manipulative, trying to outsmart the other person and getting angry.
Take your own inventory
Are you saying what you mean?
Are you keeping it short and to the point?
Are you intending to back your words with action?
Are you being kind with your choice of words?
Are you likely to get positive results with how you are communicating?
Avoid Indecisive Phrases;
I should, I will try, I might be able to, It’s just my opinion, I may be wrong, but
Replace With Decisive Phrases;
I will, I know, I believe, I recommend, I can commit to, I can,
Do not doubt yourself; say what you mean with conviction and confidence. No matter how much you mean what you say and have good intentions, or good idea, the listener will doubt you if your words demonstrate any doubt whatsoever.
The power of effective communication
Speaking up as soon as possible when something is an issue with certainty and decisiveness will minimize the likelihood that you will over react. False modesty is a waste of time as is showing off as neither impresses anybody. Be straightforward and specific about what you want and remember never to speak in generalizations or absolutes as this will result in you losing your credibility.
Learn to say no nicely and without shame or guilt as confident people are very comfortable saying no as they have a clear sense of what their priorities are. If you are dealing with a difficult person and want to say no, it is crucial to bear in mind the more details you give, the weaker you sound and the more inclined they will be to argue or cause you upset. Sometimes, it may be necessary, rather than completely shutting it down and refusing a request you suggest an alternative. This can transform a negative and uncomfortable situation into a positive.
Take control of your life by speaking up not only to survive, but to thrive in today’s highly competitive business world. Speaking powerfully can help you get exactly what you want without fumbling around with language.
About the author:
Annie is fortunate enough to be invited to work with some of the world’s leading companies and super successful individuals taking them to greater levels of success, productivity, self –belief and persuasion.
Annie’s clients include
- Corporate Employees
- Entrepreneurs & Top Achievers in Business
- Major Organisations
Annie is a Huffington Post blogger, guest expert on ITV 1, Channel 5, Sky 1 and Channel 4, Judge on Britain’s Next Top Coach, is Ambassador for Dove, Confidence Expert for totaljobs.com, and Confidence Expert for Psychologies Magazine. Author of ‘The Confidence Factor’ Annie’s third book is due out autumn 2017.