Ask Esther…I hate watching myself back on video

Ask Esther

Here’s your chance to ask me anything related to confidence, how you feel about your career, presentation and speaking techniques, your elevator pitch, personal brand or your boardroom presence…are you in danger of underselling yourself? 

Ask me anything. I literally have a tip for any eventuality when it comes to communicating with impact and influence.

Esther Stanhope is an international confidence speaker and communications expert.

A former BBC producer she’s rubbed shoulders with the likes of Madonna, George Clooney, and many global leaders.

She now helps talented women in business, like you, to speak up in meetings and conferences, get their voice heard and radiate charisma, confidence & gravitas.

If you have any questions for Esther about the way you come across in business, as a leader or when you’re chairing a meeting, fire away.  Ask anything.

Email; [email protected].

Dear Esther,  

“I Hate Watching Myself Back on Video”

Thanks for our Zoom session.

I’ve just watched back my video (criiiinge!) I hate it.  Up until now I’ve avoided being on camera because it’s excruciating having to face myself.

I’ve noticed that I appear to have a weird mouth thing going on!

Looks like I pull my bottom lip/jaw to the left side slightly (probably the right as you watch it)

? I think I need speech therapy!

Hopefully it’s just exaggerated on screen because I’m less comfortable and it’s not so bad in real life but, wow, that was a moment of truth!

Any tips you may have for correct something like that?

Ms M


Hi Ms M,

Well done and thank you for plucking up the courage to watch yourself back.  I know how you feel.

It’s funny how I didn’t notice that you need speech therapy or have a stand out feature of a wonky mouth.  No offense to BBC’s Laura Kuenssberg here, however I have noticed she does have a slight wonky mouth when she speaks.  The good news for her is it doesn’t seem to affect her career as the one of the most high profile BBC TV journalists of our time!

Don’t worry Ms M, you are not alone – we ALL hate watching ourselves back and I myself, like most of my clients suffered from self-loathing the first time I saw myself on camera.

Here’s the thing, remember your audience don’t notice the things you notice.  They only care about how you make them feel and the things that affect THEM!

TIP – How to Watch Yourself Back!

It’s a really good idea to watch yourself back three times and each time focus on a different thing. That way you can improve your performance and grow in confidence.

Ask yourself these questions…

1 – How do I look – arrghhhhh – I hate the way my jaw moves to the left!  (One of my clients threw out half her wardrobe after our first session! She decided her blouse strategy didn’t work)

2 – How do I come across in this meeting?  How credible/ interesting/ persuasive am I?

3 – What could I do MORE of to make a positive impact?  (Constructive comments only please, stop with the self loathing!)

Please don’t book yourself in with a virtual speech therapist just yet, you have a lovely voice and I can understand you perfectly just as you are! (Like Bridget Jones’ Diary, I like you, I like you just as you are).

Please celebrate yourself Ms M and stop beating yourself up.

And finally Ms M, here’s a video about watching yourself back on camera and how to do it.

The Daily Zoom Survival Guide with Virtual Speaker Esther Stanhope and Special Guest Therapist & coach Olivia James – Episode 2

Ep 2 – Tip Zoom Anxiety

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