The first one was of the opinion that once a partner has strayed, then they should be kicked to the curb. The second camp believed that if you can get past the infidelity then it’ll make your relationship stronger, meaning that you’ll appreciate each other more.
Unless absolutely necessary it is best that the affair is never bought up in a negative manner such as using it to beat him over the head with in the middle of an argument. This is extremely unhealthy and puts a crazy amount of strain on the relationship.
If your partner does cheat on you, yes you might be able to forgive but can you truly forget and also, will you be able to trust the person in the future? If you believe that you can forgive the indiscretion then you’re a better person than I am. There are many couples that stay together after an affair is discovered. Many have different reasons. Some stay together because their love is so strong for each other that they are willing to give it another go. They realise that they can’t live without each other and so soldier on.
My personal take on this matter is that if you are going to take somebody back who has strayed, then you have to have a very in depth discussion about what happened and get to the root cause of why it happened. From time to time it is inevitable that more questions will crop up regarding the person’s dalliance. Unless absolutely necessary it is best that the affair is never bought up in a negative manner such as using it to beat him over the head with in the middle of an argument. This is extremely unhealthy and puts a crazy amount of strain on the relationship.
I am not someone who is able to forgive cheating because I know that I will always be thinking about the affair and comparing myself to the other guy. I also know that I would be unable to trust the person once I discovered that they had cheated. I would be permanently on guard, looking out for a next time. The damage for me would be difficult to fix. I do take my hat off to people who will give someone a second chance.
The most common excuse when someone cheats is, “I was drunk”. I personally do not believe that this is an excuse because no matter how intoxicated I have been, I have been in control of my actions. If someone in that moment knows that getting physical with someone is wrong but they do it anyway, they are making a choice to ignore the consequences of their actions and that isn’t an excuse in my book.
There are of course other reasons that people will stray. They are normally seeking something that they believe is missing in their relationship. This is when things get a little more complex, less black and white. Again, I believe that a discussion with your other half about what is missing should be had and if the relationship cannot be salvaged then a parting of ways is the best option before engaging in extra marital activities.
In conclusion, I’d like to state that the above paragraphs are my own personal opinion. Life is far more complicated and there is no right or wrong answer as to whether you should or shouldn’t take back a partner if they cheat. If you do, then you must be prepared to not continuously bring it up.
Coming next week, “How do men feel about Make-Up, is caked on better than natural?”
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