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When I left school and started work I became the brunt of 2 older girls bullying so know firsthand what effect it can have on your self esteem. Since then I have come across it in so many different forms but it still never ceases to amaze me how anyone can want to hurt another human being with their words or their actions.
This doesn’t prepare you for the hurt and upset that I come across in my shop every day.
My daughter at the age of 10 was bullied physically and mentally for having ginger hair so much so we had to move her school. Then February 24th 2010 during a lunch break at school my 15 year old son was tied up, thrown to the ground and repeatedly kicked and punched by approximately 12 boys. He was hospitalised. They managed to knock him out, bruise his ribs and break his arm; we are lucky that they didn’t kill him. He was 6ft tall and the most unlikely person to ever be picked on.
Since opening my dress agency www.dejavu-clothing.co.uk I have been amazed by the bullying that is so rife in our society! I get it; we are all our own worst critics. Everyone has something that they dislike about their own bodies, even the most beautiful have at least one thing that they want to change if they could we only have to look at some of the celebs to see this.
This doesn’t prepare you for the hurt and upset that I come across in my shop every day. I had a lady in recently who worked for a well known high street shop in London. When I asked her if I could help she started to cry. Her boss had told her that the celebratory party being held at work required her to have a new dress and although she had hired for the rest of the staff she felt that this lady was far too fat for them to provide her with a costume. She was a lovely curvy size 16, had amazing skin and a beautiful face.
Another lady came in looking for an outfit to go to the races, when I took a couple of dresses into the changing room I found her pinching, punching and hurting herself whilst crying her eyes out. It turns out that she was always being made to feel inadequate and fat by her partner’s daughter. She was a size 12 and beautiful!
I fail to understand how some can live with the misery that they cause by their harsh words and behaviour.
I now make a point of passing on compliments; much to the children’s and my husband’s embarrassment I have even been known to stop someone in the street to tell them how fantastic they look. It is amazing how this simple act can change someone’s day.
Maybe we should all think about what we can do to a person’s self-confidence when we criticize and concentrate on paying them a compliment, after all isn’t the saying “beauty comes from within?”
By Teresa Hills – Dejavu Cothing
