The Journey model has taken me on an interesting path, one on which I hope would end with me getting a deeper level of understanding on why and how men and women behave and act like how we do! It is important, at least to me, because I feel that if I am to understand men, inside out, perhaps I need to also understand how we are wired the way we are! According to the smart people who have taken years to analyse the how and why – I need my glasses to look all important for this – the brain works double time and pushes us to pursue interests that seem out of reach. Essentially whenever the critical soft mashy matter in our individual skulls identify, through neurological signals that we like something, but that thing, whatever it may be, appears out of reach, it drives signals which gets interpreted as strong desires (in lay man’s terms) which pushes us to reach harder for that which we feel we cannot get!!! Isn’t that deep? For the full explanation of how this works you gotta listen to Helen Fisher.
So how does this play out in men? Well I will use the revelation shared by Jamieson as an example, but first let me catch you up on how we’re doing. The past weeks have been superbly busy for both of us, after all, we’re both individually independent and also trying to make a living and have fun at the same time! Hence, we haven’t had much time to physically meet but have been chatting a lot on the phone as the second best alternative!. I must admit though, he seems to be getting a good quota of my time than the others on the priority list! Well what can I say, physically he looks like a modern day Adonis, mentally, he is par with noble prize laureates, and socially, he exudes pure star quality! No kidding!! Character level qualities are yet to be determined, but hopefully he will turn out to act like a saint!!
Jamieson as you know, is always trying to reach out for the ‘top shelf’ – the ‘Cookie Jar shelf’ when ever he gets the chance?!! After not seeing each other for a couple of weeks or so, this particular date evening was no exception. We began the evening by having great food and wine from one of his favourite restaurants. This was interlaced with light and jovial conversation! The ambience of the restaurant, great food and superbly interesting conversation was a great build up to a quiet cuddly ending at mine. We put one of our favourite classics from Teddy Pendergrass into the music system when we got in, and as Teddy’s deep voice filled out of room, the atmosphere couldn’t have been more conducive for his thoughts to play out the way he wanted them to. As much tempting as the whole situation looked, I just couldn’t let his game roll out to his imagination ! This was going to be another night of crumbs and conversation!! We spent the early hours of the new dawn in my living room, talking and ‘crumbing’ at first base, to Teddy’s ‘Nine Times Out of Ten’ and others!! After attempting to reach for the top shelf many times without too much success, Jamieson made a very insightful comment – he said, he felt happy but it also ‘killed’ him that he wants me more than he thinks I do and so because of that (and my other qualities of course) he just can’t stop pursuing me! Shut the front door!!! Can you believe that?!!! I was really jumping with joy inside but on the outside, pretended that his revelation didn’t mean that much – WiseGirl!!
A similar instance played out with Paul too – but not on the same level as I am with Jamieson! You see, Paul is slacking in his game these days! Given our rosy start as friends I feel he’s been taking certain key things for granted! Anyhow we recently arranged to meet at a party down town during which he quickly noticed that he had serious competition on the floor, as I consciously talked less to him and more to the guys that hovered around me like bees do to a honey pot! Sure he didn’t look too happy at the prospects and the play out of events but gal, I’m spreading my bets here right?! Anyhow long story cut short, the calls and attention I get from him has gone up 10 notches after this episode!!! An overkill of attention maybe but suddenly, I have become a strong desirable must have , that he just can’t seem to live a day without a text or call!!! Men!!!
This revelation is too good to let go! The more I seem out of reach, the more the guys feel like pursuing me and the closer I get to my ultimate desired outcome!! !
As always, I love you for reading and sharing.
Tagged: dating, dating men, dating well, helen fisher, how to love a wise girl, love, love girl finds love, relationships, relationships with men, romance, single, wise girl