I’m writing this letter to say thank you. Because I don’t think I said it often enough when I was able to Because now I’m a mum myself I truly appreciate what it’s like and because I want other people to read this and realise if their mum is still around, they have an opportunity to say “thank you” and they need to grasp that opportunity. Now. They need to grasp their mum in a hug whilst they are able to.
For a long time after you’d gone I really missed a hug from you – a mum’s hug is different to anyone elses. However hard my husband, my children, my dad, my sister, my brother hug me – it just isn’t the same feeling as your “mum” hug. Without any words you were able to put your arms around me and everything felt okay. Lottie said to me the other day that the “best thing in the world when you’re feeling sad or unwell is a hug from your mum”. Beautiful words from your beautiful, insightful granddaughter that made me cry. And we hugged and I remembered when I’d had to explain to her that you’d gone to heaven and she insisted you were on a cloud wearing pink shoes! Which made me laugh. And now, when the sky is pink Lottie and I wonder whether you’ve danced across the sky.
It’s really easy to take things for granted when you can have them all the time. It’s only when you can’t have something that you suddenly realise how much it meant to you and how much you miss it. And that hurts. Still.
So, I want to say thank you mum. Thank you for lots of happy times, for breakfast in bed in the morning, for meeting me off the bus late at night after work, for waiting up til the early hours when I’d creep in from dates and want to share the excitement of being out with the man I knew I was going to marry, for looking after Joshua and Lottie, for teaching me the importance of being able to laugh at myself. For instilling in me that everyone deserves to be respected and given a piece of your time.
Thank you. x