By all accounts 2012 has been a very varied, and for some people, challenging year. We have been buffeted by all the financial storms and the promise of more to come. As well as the mayhem that seems to be going on around us in the financial world, and it’s effects on our everyday lives, for many their personal lives have been topsy-turvy too.
What I have noticed is that you can either focus on what has gone wrong this year or you can shift your focus onto the opportunities it holds. Many of the women I work with are doing just that.
So, how can you shift your focus to begin to see what good your world holds for you? Life has fundamentally shifted – and by that I am not talking about the economic world – although it has. I am seeing that life for women has shifted too. So many who have relied on the old structure are striking out and living their lives differently.
Instead of following the old rules that they learnt many years ago – the rules about how you live your life; what is and isn’t possible, what kind of job you should have, what is and isn’t accepted, what you should believe about yourself and how the world works – instead of following these rules blindly, many women are now questioning these rules and realising that they can believe something different. Not only can they believe something different – they can do something different.
The first step in this transformation is to start by realising that whatever you believe is what you will see in your life. So if you are a glass half empty person then that’s what you will experience. Equally if you are glass half full person that too is what you will see.
There is a great saying in the personal development world that perception is projection. It took me a while to get my head around this – what exactly does it mean?
In short it means that whatever you perceive to be true in the world is what will be true for you. Have you ever come across people with totally different beliefs and, as you observe them, you see that for each person the belief is true in their lives? That is their perception at work.
For example I work with many women who wish to have a partner. They fall into two camps. The it is impossible to find someone or the spoilt for choice camp. What is so fascinating is that both viewpoints are true. Why? Because it is true for them.
They might go out to the same events, meet the same people, have similar desires for a relationship – even fancy the same kind of person and have an equal opportunity and yet they have totally different results.
The only major difference is their perception of the dating world. How they think that world is will be mirrored by their experience.
The people we label as always being lucky are not any luckier than you or me, they simply perceive the world in a different way.
How does that tie in with your experience of this year? Well, where is your focus? Do you read all the doom and gloom and then lay awake at night worrying about how it is going to impact your life? Are you creating nightmare scenarios in your mind? Or do you focus on what you can do in your own world to bring about change? Are you allowing yourself to get excited about new ideas?
The women I have been seeing who are flying at this time are totally focused on the second option. They have got very clear on what they wish to create and have a single-minded focus. They do not allow themselves to get sucked into the negativity they have around them. Whenever a small, limiting thought arises they immediately stop and question it. That’s the key. Question your thoughts – they are just that – only thoughts. They are not set in stone and irrefutable. Literally ask yourself, ‘can I absolutely know that that is true?’ You might think it is, but more often than not you cannot absolutely know it is true.
For example, many women I have worked with have the hidden belief that they are not good enough. Outwardly they may look successful but deep within is that limiting belief gnawing away at their confidence. When I ask them if they can absolutely know that it is true – they may at first say yes. But when I ask them to find evidence in their lives where it is not true they can (with a little encouragement) find where actually they are good enough.
Learning to question your beliefs is very empowering. The next thing is to ask yourself, “so if it’s not true – what would be possible?” That gets your mind thinking in a new way. That’s when the doors of possibility open up in your life.
Your world is created by your thoughts – starts noticing yours and chose to think good ones.
Jessica is an author and speaker and works internationally with successful women who have ticked all the boxes and achieved all the things that should make them happy, but feel there is something missing and life feels rather empty and lacking meaning. She gives personal exclusive support to help them discover the missing pieces and rewrite the rules creating new boxes to tick so they finally feel happy and fulfilled with however they choose to live their lives. Her new book The Right T-Shirt, as in – been there, done that got the wrong one! – is published in November 2012. For more information visit www.jessicamcgregorjohnson.com.