I have been asked my opinion on this matter on a number of occasions.
Girl meets guy and finds guy very attractive and mentally stimulating. The awkward moment outside the doorstep takes place (Kiss, followed by whether or not you both end up going inside and upstairs).
Frequently asked is what goes through the man’s mind the morning after.
- If you’re worried about being judged, you shouldn’t be. Although you’re feeling judged and vulnerable, the fact is that the act would have taken place between two adults. If the guy decides to judge you, he is being a hypocrite. Many of you are wondering whether he will think you’re easy. If he does, then he is being a hypocrite. Many couples I know and have surveyed are in successful relationships that have lasted a long time. They admit that they got intimate on the first date and are still going strong. I’ve never been of the belief that you can judge someone based on one night.
If you think that there is a slight chance that you might want to see this person again, let them wait. It’s a good opportunity for you to gauge their intentions over a long period of time.
- The only time men have said they are wary about a first date physical encounter is, if it is something that the lady does on a regular basis. It sets off alarm bells in their head and they often assume that promiscuous behaviour might be forthcoming if the date progresses beyond that first night of passion. On this point, I guess it’s down to the individual and there is no right or wrong way to resolve this apart from communicating in an honest manner.
- Times have changed and attitudes have softened on this particular topic. Even 10 years ago, If I’d broached the subject with men, they would say that whilst they’d be happy to have sex on the first date with someone, they’d be unlikely to start a relationship with that person. The revolution of internet dating and the parading of sexual images everywhere (even yoghurt adverts) has made guys more relaxed on the matter. There are still a few who wouldn’t get into a relationship if a first date went past third base. The only opinion I’ll offer on the matter is that if you feel like your safety is being jeopardized, then it’s best to have a kiss, go home separately and wait until you trust the person.
- If you’d like a definitive answer on the matter, I’m afraid it still is rather unclear. Bit of a lottery really, some guys do mind and some guys don’t. If it is something that you’d quite happily do, you have to consider a couple of things. If you think that there is a slight chance that you might want to see this person again, let them wait. It’s a good opportunity for you to gauge their intentions over a long period of time. A gentleman would never be upset with a “No” and would be prepared to wait and get to know you better. The rest as they say is up to you.
Coming next week: First date rule on picking up the bill
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