As a busy power woman, you probably have about a million things going on in your life.
You’ve got goals! Friends you need to call, a parent who needs a card, a partner in need of attention, work, classes, the list goes on and on and on. I will be the first to admit that this happens to me a lot and I hate the feeling of going to bed at night knowing that there are a number of issues still lurking on my to-do list. Even worse is feeling like I am doing a lot of work but not getting anywhere at all.
Are your goals and values aligned?
I had this experience when I was trying to finish my book draft. I wanted to do it all right away. Thankfully, I had two give me the same very important bit of advice. Basically, if I am not accomplishing my goals, it is probably because the goals I am setting for myself are not aligned to my values. It was a tough message to swallow. Like a lot of readers, I have big dreams and ideas. It’s a dream to pursue so many things, but this is not always possible and sometimes tough choices have to be made. Even famous women like Arianna Huffington sometimes give up on goals (e.g. skiing, learning German and cooking). There should not be any shame in doing that if it is the right thing for you.
Set priorities and be kind to yourself
So, did the advice mean that I was secretly willing myself to fail? No, the good part is that both of them also highlighted that this is about setting priorities. We all have to accept that we can only do one thing at a time. In the case of my book, the coach
I spoke with said something else very important to me. When I told her that I had left my manuscript half finished. She said that it was ok that I had left my book for a while. I had been dealing with some major life issues and that was my focus.
Furthermore, if I had kept writing during that time, the negativity I was feeling would probably be reflected in the draft. Sure enough, when I picked up the draft later I ended up cutting many of the sections I had written during this time. I accepted that I had put the focus where it needed to be during that time and that was ok.
Moving forwards, onwards and upwards
In the end, my book draft got done. I have stopped beating myself up every time I don’t accomplish something exactly in the time frame I was expecting. What I do now is to review my goals and priorities on a regular basis. This allows me to make peace with what I have the capacity to do while keeping my eyes on the prize.
About the author
Joy Adams is a blogger and one of WATCs 2015 Rising Stars. She is a British-American businesswoman who has worked in both the public and private sectors in the US and UK. Joy currently serves on the Advisory Board for Vital Voices Europe, an organization dedicated to supporting and developing women leaders. She also writes a lifestyle blog for budding philanthropists and art collectors at Luxeher.com.
The Workher blog is all about taking your work life to the next level with practical tips and details on the latest news about pay, progression, and opportunities.