Have you ever stopped on your hamster wheel just for a moment and wondered if the pace your going at, or what you’re doing either matters or is serving you anymore? Maybe the dream you started chasing when you were Twenty-one may not be the one that you want today, and, now at 42 or maybe it never was? Perhaps you’re leading the life that someone else wants for you?
In that moment of introspection you may consider the lifestyle you’re not completely enjoying…you may question yourself and contemplate, how happy are you, really, and are you’re getting what you truly desire out of life?
Sometimes we get so stuck in our dogmatic thinking that we’ve forgotten what we actually want out of life and are simply stuck on autopilot…it’s easy to know what we don’t want but maybe we have forgotten what we do want. Ironically, whilst we’re focused on what we don’t want, we attract more of the same into our lives and therefore the life and happiness we desire gets further and further away, eluding us and making us sadder than a choc-a-holic during lent.
Personally, I think it’s handy to understand what we don’t want in order to eliminate it from our thinking… curiously though, when we think about what we do want, we can unconsciously think about what we don’t too…you can’t think about what you want without thinking about what you don’t, so what ever is most dominant will be arriving on your doorstep…so, if you’re thinking about being healthy and focused on not wanting to eat that plate of donuts that’s being passed around the office, then wondered why you have sugar round your lips, now you know!!!
Removing what we don’t want from our consciousness and replacing it with what you really want, is the solution – easier said than done, but achievable through willpower or simply practicing mindfulness on a daily basis. Practiced first thing in the morning, before you start your day, mindfulness allows you to slow down your thinking, catches the old or negative thinking and keeps us on track, as you create new thinking habits and compound those thoughts over time. They have the ability to help change your thinking and create new, positive behaviors and outcomes we truly desire in our lives.
On a recent road trip to from Florence to Siena, my friend Sandra were talking about this, here are some of the questions that were part of our conversation; I’d love to share with you…they may help you remove some blocks and give you the focus to appreciate where you are right now and propel you towards what could make you happy – take your some time to consider these questions and the commit to paper your thoughts…
- What do you absolutely not want?
- What do you absolutely not want to feel?
I imagine that was simple. What we don’t want comes to us easy but what we want to do is ensure that we appreciate what we really desire…
- What do you want?
- What do you want to feel?
These questions can be applied to relationships, career, money, health & spirituality. It starts with us.
- How do you want others to feel?
- What are you committed to no longer doing that is not serving you?
If you’re being committed to change then honesty goes a long, long way…our ego’s the enemy and it often pulls the wool over our eyes, it drives us with fear and clouds our judgment…but if you’re completely open to change, you take full responsibility for your own feelings and actions, then we can change how we think and feel, we can choose how we react with others and thereby notice how people start to respond and feel different with us.
Once you know what you want and how you want to feel the hard work begins, you have to be true to yourself and unshakeable with your desire and how you want to feel different…
- How much do you really want this & why
- What sort of level of discipline are you prepared to exercise to get what you want?
- What are you going to do on a daily basis to support this?
- How are you going to monitor this?
Keeping yourself on track on a regular basis helps create the new thinking, habits and behaviors, you can do this with an app, or set yourself a reminder on your phone that pings up several times per day, saying, “How did I do?”
- How will you know when you are successful?
- How will that make you feel?
- What do you want from your life?
- When do you want this?
Visualization combined with an emotion will help you keep what will make you happy out front and central in your mind, picking you up when your down and a constant reminder that the work will be worth it in the end. Vision boards are very motivational and I use one on a daily basis to support this.
So, my lovely darlings the final piece of the jigsaw and often a large part of why you’re not where you want to be is letting other people take control of your destiny…if you don’t have your own dream you’ll simply become a component in someone else’s.
Be strong, get support if you need it, enroll a mentor, friend or join a network of like-minded people to help you stay on track and choose to see clearly what this is going to take…
- Do you have the correct tools for the job?
- Do you understand what your going to do entails?
- Are you REALLY doing this?
- What’s stopping you?
I affirm that whatever you think will happen, WILL happen. Energy follows thought and you have the ability to change your life RIGHT NOW. I believe in possibilities and I believe that you have what it takes to live a full and bounteous life.
Set your new goals for your happiness and act on your new resolution today.
Achieve your goals and get the job done. Choose to fast track it, the more you procrastinate and the longer your take it and the harder you make it for yourself – it’s like going to the bikini waxers on trainee day…five minutes or five hours. …It’s your choice…just rip the flipping strips off and get on with it…yes, it might be painful…but doing something for a short time in order to get what you want forever is worth the OUCH-Factor!
When it all boils down to it, the only person who’s going to make the change and achieve the success and happiness that you deserve is you…so waxing strips to the ready and get to work– I believe in you and I know you can do it…
Read more of Gordon’s work here
Gordon Fraser is a Scottish; London based health & wellness entrepreneur, writer, Philanthropist and media personality.
He’s a fellow of the Institute of Directors, a former board member of the actors union Equity and has a scholarship in his name at the London Academy of Music and Dramatic Art.
Gordon is a highly creative entrepreneur who’s conceived, implemented systems, generated sales, inspired, mentored, motivated and built a £multi-million global product driven organisation in the highly competitive luxury beauty, health and wellness industry with the superbrand Arbonne.
He is a supporter of The Tyler Clementi Foundation (TCF), which is a charity guided by the life and story of Tyler Clementi, and promotes safe, inclusive and respectful social environments in homes, schools, campuses, churches and the digital world for vulnerable youth, LGBT youth and their allies.
His Scholarship at L.A.M.D.A is in its third year, it was set up to create an opportunity for the UK’s brightest acting talents unable to take their place at the school and complete their studies due to financial restraints.
As a former actor, Gordon is instrumental in developing projects for television, film, theatrical and online intellectual properties through UK registered business New Gods and Heroes and Los Angeles based Gordon Fraser & Associates, LLC.
He’s a writer, professional speaker, and has addressed and motivated audiences as large as 10,000 in various parts of the world, including the USA, UK, Canada, Australia and Central Europe.
A Mentor, coach & the UK’s No1 Network Marketing specialist Gordon believes in the power of possibilities and his goal is to make an impact on the world.