What are men looking for?

binocularsWhen I got asked this question, I knew I was in trouble as I can only speak for one man.

I decided to gate crash a bunch of male only groups on their lunch breaks and I now understand why women end up getting so confused by us. The answers were so varied and so full of contradictions that I am still none the wiser about what men want (and I am a man!). It is worth mentioning that the same applies to women. We have no idea what you want either.

The first guy I spoke to was someone that appeared on a dating show, which I’m currently filming in London. He said that he wanted a girl that was similar to his mother, (grounded, understanding, caring) but who also had a side to her that was wild, “Lady in streets, freak in the bed” to quote Ludacris. I found him someone that fitted the first half of his description, but there was no way to determine the second half without a test drive, which I didn’t do. She was a nice girl but he found her boring. He got involved with someone else who didn’t have the first set of values that he was after, but she ticked the boxes in the latter half (fun, exciting, wild). After a few months they finished because he found her to be too unbalanced and unpredictable.

The answers were so varied and so full of contradictions that I am still none the wiser about what men want (and I am a man!).

The group of guys I spoke to wanted someone who had it all, much like guy number one, they wanted someone caring but rebellious, however when it came down to the crunch, there were loads of terms and conditions introduced. The first one was, “I’d like someone who’s good in bed but doesn’t carry herself like a tart”. I probed more to find out what this sentence meant and the guy said that he wouldn’t want her “dressed like a tart” but to “act like one when we’re alone”. The rest of what he said will not make it onto these pages as they’re far too naughty for anyone with a tame stomach, but I’m sure you get the idea.

The answers were so varied and so full of contradictions that I am still none the wiser about what men want (and I am a man!). It is worth mentioning that the same applies to women. We have no idea what you want either.

It wasn’t all conflicting however, there were many men who said that they just wanted someone that was nice. The number one request was someone with no baggage. Many times a guy has ended up meeting a woman who had a bad experience in a previous relationship. As a result of that she took time to warm up to the new man and it hasn’t lasted long as the current guy was paying for the previous guy’s mistakes.

85% of men surveyed did say that the person’s appearance went a long way towards deciding whether or not they would approach starting a relationship with someone.

85% of men surveyed did say that the person’s appearance went a long way towards deciding whether or not they would approach starting a relationship with someone. The other big thing was sex. The guys wanted quality and regularity in that department. The average guy said that regularity was at least once a day minimum if living together. They also wanted it not to reduce over time as the relationship became long term.

As always I’d like to end the column with my personal opinion. What I look for when I’m single is a person that I can talk to about anything. The minute that a person I’m involved with restricts me from speaking freely with them, it becomes a problem. Someone who is consistent is also a good thing. You can’t say that you like staying in but then turn around and say that it’s boring. You also can’t say that you like going out and then turn around and say that we don’t get to spend enough time alone with each other. I believe that if someone I’m looking for has a mature and understanding personality, everything else is a bonus. Looks do matter definitely but as long as the person is someone that I like as a person, that’s a good start because over time looks do vanish.

Coming next week: “He suddenly broke up with me without explanation, what do I do?

To keep up with me, feel free to find me either on, www.facebook.com/thebreakuprecipe or on twitter @munirbello1983

About the author

Munir Bello is our resident male dating blogger: ‘Men Uncovered Blog’. Each week he will answer the most common questions posed by women about men. Munir Bello is the Author of The Break Up Recipe, A 5 star rated romantic comedy about break ups and relationships from a mans point of view, available on Amazon as a download or paperback. . Follow Munir on Twitter @munirbello1983 or www.facebook.com/thebreakuprecipe

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