Motherhood. It didn’t stop me

pregnant woman working at desk

My story is not one for the sceptical.

So, October 2016 I found out I was 32/33 weeks pregnant. Almost eight months had gone by unknowingly aware of the tiny human that was cooking inside me.

Most the skeptics are those that had a pregnancy that came with every ache and symptom imaginable. Even when I was in the hospital getting ready to have my bundle of joy I had women side glancing me, assuming I had got lost or was in the wrong room. No ladies my baby is ready to come out just like all of yours.

But what about your periods? Kicking? Now is time to get some perspective, I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) so this means I have in the past gone up to 6 months without a period. Apart from that there was nothing else, I didn’t feel kicks until 35 weeks and I had a bump that made me look like I had just eaten a hearty meal.

The emotions that ran through my head I would not wish upon anyone. I was scared, petrified in fact and of course every option started running through my head, not a single one of them appealed to me. I broke down, I felt like I had been backed into a corner. I felt trapped into this plan that I certainly did not plan for myself.

I had just finished University, was living in Sheffield and had a plan of action for my career and in that moment I saw this plan crumble away, to never be in my grasp. (How wrong I was).

My mother, cried tears of joy. Those years of begging for a grandchild, her wish had finally been answered. Be it the not so conventional way. After about a week of moping and conjuring up images of labour in all its glory. I turned to myself and said ‘Beth get a grip!’. So, I did, I accepted my fate and took it in my stride.

On the 17th of December 2016 I gave birth to my little girl. I never believed the old line of ‘love at first sight’ until I saw her. She was perfect and all mine and every negative emotion I had about becoming a mother seemed to just melt away.

I was put on a slightly higher risk of developing Postnatal Depression due to the fact I had less time to adjust. But in all honesty I never had any doubts and that I loved my baby with all of my heart. I would do everything I could to give her the very best in life. Of course there were sleepless nights and a few cries along the way, but what new mother doesn’t? Any sadness I have is always smothered by the constant love my little girl gives me.

After my little girl’s first birthday I was more than ready to return to work. I have never been work shy in fact during my time in Sheffield I worked two jobs at the same time. I started my job search, knowing that with being a single parent I was not able to take on any full time work I applied for any part time job I could find. Retail jobs, bar jobs, admin jobs etc. I had the odd interview here and there but alas it was always a no.

The feedback I did receive definitely spurred me on, most of them saying I carry myself very well in the interviews and I had confidence, but I already knew I was ‘Chatty Cathy’.

What was I doing so wrong? Every rejection was another confidence knock back. It was then in my job searches I came across jobs that appealed to me, ones that I had gone to University for. I had a degree in Public Relations and Media, so I had always wanted to work within this sector.

So, I revamped my CV, making my skills and knowledge in this field more paramount. I then started applying for the jobs I wanted a career in, where I could see my degree being of use.

That was when I came across the advertisement for the job I have today at Tao Digital. I thought this job’s a little too good to be true, flexible hours and great pay. I always say you don’t win without participating first, so I applied and straight away I was contacted and the rest is history.

Since starting this job I have been constantly learning new things, honing in on previous skills and after almost 4 months of working I am in discussion on how I will be progressing in the future, the career that seemed so impossible when I found out I was pregnant, I have a firmly in my hands and I’m not letting go.

I have been lucky in finding a manager who understands my circumstances, but he also doesn’t discredit me because I am a single mother. He believes I can do this and I am not about to prove him wrong. All I can say is watch this space.

I am working in a very male centric environment and owning my place here too. Women we are strong and we can do anything we put our heart and mind too.

Motherhood is not the only option, for some it is all they have ever wanted in life. I was scared of taking the leap, but after all the knock backs I have landed on my feet and it feels fantastic. Women whatever you choose in life, always remember the power to change the course of your life lies only in you.

About the author

Bethany Kearsley is a digital marketer who works for Tao Digital Marketing in Bolton, UK. Self proclaimed foodie that loves to cook. Mother to an amazing little girl. Graduate from Sheffield Hallam University with a degree in Public Relations and Media.

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