On-line Dating – The Good and the Bad but not the Ugly

Option 3Single in the City has a good job, her own place, is well educated and travels regularly. She is naturally argumentative has a sunny disposition, is chatty, a quick decision maker but takes her time before she trusts someone. She loves to have a laugh and can cry at movies. Can pretty much look after herself, and has an eclectic taste in theatre, music, books and handbags. She’s a pretty well rounded City Chic and wrote about her dating experiences for the life style section of Here Is The City The only thing is, she’s no longer single.

Given her success in finding her one and only through unconventional methods, I thought it would be great to have her share her experience in the month of Love. When else?

Read on…

The Bad

In a way, the whole on-line thing kind of takes the fun out of dating a bit. You read through profile after profile, and apply some very random criteria to accept people. Be honest. If you meet someone in the pub or at a party, do you first ask them to specify their height, age and education before talking to them? Nope, you have a chat and get on with it. If there is something there, you might see him again. If not, you probably had a nice evening in any case. In addition, the whole winking, tagging, and liking game was just a wee bit too juvenile for me.

So at some point you decide to take the plunge and write a message. If you are lucky you get a nice one back. More often than not, you never get a response. Personally, I made two resolutions. The first one was to write back to anyone who wrote to me, even if it was only to say that I wasn’t really interested. The second one was that if they were even remotely interesting I’d want to meet them. It’s all nice and well to send messages back and forth, but the only thing that tells me is that whoever wrote them can spell and use punctuation (or not as the case may be).

Obviously I can’t really speak for all the women out there but I did learn that many men would like to on-line date from the safety of their own sofa but when it came to meeting up for a coffee it became a whole different ball game. I mean, seriously, what’s so scary about a coffee?

The other bad thing? Dishonesty. Really, get a grip. Put your own photograph up, not someone else’s, and make sure it’s a recent (but flattering) one. Be honest about things like your marital status. It seems to me that separated often means still married, but looking for a bit of fun on the side. If that’s what you are looking for go to “I just want an affair dot com” or something to that effect – trust me, there are sites for that too.  To be fair to the boys, I have heard from some of my male friends that girls are just as bad.

Fair enough, it wasn’t all bad though. I met some really nice guys, some of whom I still occasionally go out with like the retired cross dresser. Generally, the guys I did meet were pleasant to spend an hour or so with, and some even lead to a few more dates. None of them long-term, but bar one or two none of them a waste of time either. The thing is though that I just don’t have the patience or the time for this type of thing. So instead of actually writing to anyone or checking through list after list of profiles, I would just occasionally log on but not an awful lot more. So after a few months I decided to just give it all up. After all, I was quite happy being single and by no means desperate. Then I went abroad for work for a couple of months and promptly forgot all about it.

More next week….

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About the author

AWiseGirl.com was created to test out a new phenomenon!! We hear of countless stories where women (and many women around the world) go on a date, maybe once or twice…. get to know the guy and then as soon as she makes up her mind that this is the guy that she would like to have in her life… the guy suddenly turns cold towards her!!! Sounds familiar? What happened? How did this nice guy who was pursuing you countlessly suddenly turned cold the moment you started to show an interest in him? Why did he change his attitude? Why did he stopped calling, stopped texting, cancelled the date (with an excuse— I’m sick! and never called back)

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