Choose your words wisely.
Your words have power over you and what you think about. The same applies to those who hear you – if they listen to you of course!
When you’re asked to be present at something, if you can make a date or if you have time to do something I wonder if you use the C word I want to recommend to you? Stay with me here.
One of my clients taught me – and herself – this valuable lesson: she was always referring to having ‘conflicts’ in her diary. The word ‘conflict’ implies a struggle, a clash, something to manage. And as she took a sharp breath in she said “I’m referring to picking my precious children up from school as a conflict. What’s that about Kay? It’s not a conflict, it’s a commitment.”
A commitment. Now there’s a difference.
This C word – ‘commitment’ – has a whole different energy about it. Something’s fixed. It’s a promise. It’s happening and it’s important to you. What’s interesting is how other people treat your commitments too. They’re less inclined to expect you to bend them or replace them.
- “Thanks for including me but I have a conflict then. Sorry.”
- “Thanks for including me. I already have a commitment at that time so when else works?” for example.
Notice the difference? The ‘conflict’ word can invite you to apologise or feel guilty that you have something else in your diary. A commitment doesn’t. You may still want to, or be asked to reschedule. I get that and yet, you’ll probably find less people expect it of you and you’ll feel less inclined to offer it.
It is all about perception and the words you choose to use often say more about you than the order you put them in.
- Do you have problems or challenges?
- What about failures or maybe they’re lessons?
- Do or try to do?
As that great philosopher Yoda said “Do or do not do. There is no try.”
Now that is a commitment.
Known as the Savvy & Influential Communication Expert, Kay White is hosting a unique 3-day Live Event “Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE” in London on 6, 7 and 8 October and as a guest of WATC, use the code WATCVIP and take 50% off your seat.
Let’s make it your time to shine at work without selling your soul. When would now be a better time to go for Promotion, Recognition and Rewards all while being true to yourself?
For further immediate ‘shots’ of inspiration and tactics on showing up at work in a way which gets you heard and understood, try Kay’s Weekly Podcast on iTunes: Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard. They’re short and snappy and full of tips to inspire and guide you at work.