A riot nearly broke out before I wrote this column. I heard so many stories from the different women that I interviewed. I was also held responsible for the actions of every man who had ever messed them around. We don’t make life easy for you ladies but you don’t help yourselves by being more attracted to us when we seem aloof and uninterested.
Internet dating offers plenty of options. Free internet dating offers a buffet of opportunity. A female friend of mine kindly let me use her match.com profile (Yes, I was a woman for a few days) and I couldn’t believe how many guys were sending winks, messages and chat requests. Most of them sent lots of messages, which I thought was odd as their first overtures were ignored by me. They got aggressive and abusive after a while and I blocked them. I also went on Tinder as a woman (Lord have mercy!!!!). The format for those that are unfamiliar is this: You’re shown a picture of a guy and his name, you click yes or no depending on whether or not you find them attractive. If you both click yes, then it’s a match. It allows you to make it to the next stage, which is exchanging emails. I got sent so many pictures of private parts that I’m actually considering seeing a hypnotherapist to cleanse my mind of the memories.
At this point if your gut instinct tells you something is off then listen to it. Most don’t and then end up being surprised when the guy doesn’t turn out to be Mr Right.
It goes without saying that if you’re on a site and you’re inundated with phallic pictures after a few exchanges, that maybe this person isn’t after a serious relationship and you’re probably not the first recipient of that picture.
Romcoms, chat shows and TV shows have given men an insight into the female psyche and some fellas have become very good at telling a woman what they want to hear, then never returning her calls after they’ve had sex. The only way you can prevent this from happening is by withholding from the physical act. That way, you’ll be able to get to know each other and gauge the guys intentions. If he’s not willing to wait a few weeks or months (depending on your rules) then don’t waste your time.
The difficult part is, knowing if a guy really likes you. As mentioned earlier there are many guys who know how to manipulate their way into your pants. Every single person has a gut instinct. You normally know when something’s not right, however too many people choose to ignore it. A guy could reveal some character trait you don’t like or say something that makes you uncomfortable yet you’ll go ahead and give them a chance. At this point if your gut instinct tells you something is off then listen to it. Most don’t and then end up being surprised when the guy doesn’t turn out to be Mr Right.
The signs of a good man are someone who you can speak to. A guy that just nods as you carry on speaking might seem like a good listener. Quiz him about the things you’ve just mentioned and see if he responds. You’re at least halfway there if he can communicate. Everyone’s definition of a good man is different but if anyone reading this is looking for a good man I have plenty of friends who fall into that category (guilty as charged of bias)
We don’t make life easy for you ladies but you don’t help yourselves by being more attracted to us when we seem aloof and uninterested.
It’s very hard to know if a guy likes you but the common signs are that, he is willing to be a part of your life and make you a part of his such as introducing you to his social circle and taking an interest in yours. Leave a toothbrush at his place and see how he reacts, no guy can fake a good reaction. If they don’t really like you, their reaction to the toothbrush will tell you as much. If you’re still not sure about a guy you’ve met, get in touch with me and we can look at it together as all situations vary.
Coming next week: “My ex refuses to let go. Why?”
To keep up with me, feel free to find me either on, www.facebook.com/thebreakuprecipe or on twitter @munirbello1983