We hear this advice again and again “stay in your lane” but what does that mean?
I work with an increasing number of women who ask me this question and I wanted to try and get to the bottom of it, to make things clear and help you to stay in your lane.
Avoid the comparison trap
With social media it is all too easy to compare yourself to others and leave yourself feeling like you don’t quite measure up.
It’s possible to find someone more successful, experienced, qualified, beautiful or accomplished at the click of a button. The thing is, the more we compare ourselves to others, the worse we feel. It is super easy to start to imagine that we’re not enough as we don’t have the apparent success of others.
The thing is, all this does is fuel us to feel bad about ourselves.
A really good reframe is to look at others for inspiration rather than comparison, follow social media accounts that make you want to be better and do better and make you feel good about yourself.
Ultimately, anyone can put across any image on social media but the image may not match reality so you are comparing yourself against an unknown, and that can be dangerous and damaging.
What you focus on grows
When we are focused, we get results and what we concentrate on grows and develops. When you start to think this way, the more that we focus on others the less headspace we have to look at what we are doing. Why not start to develop a deeper understanding of who you are and who you want to be and focus on what you can do to bridge that gap.
When you start with you, you will get results.
Everybody’s journey is different
There is no cookie cutter approach to success and the term itself means different things to different people. Check in with yourself to see what is important to you and how you measure success – what are the things which you value the most?
It might be that success for you is having a high-flying job, managing a team or it could be that you want to run your own business to give you more flexibility and freedom.
Your definition of success will be different to other people’s and once again, this is why you need to focus on you.
In addition to this, we all have our own experiences and journeys which shape how we live our lives today. Success isn’t a straight line so being open to the journey and your experiences will not only make you happier but will also help you decide on what you really want.
When you own what you do you become more successful
Taking responsibility for what you do means you are more likely to be successful. When you take ownership of your mistakes and your successes, you’re able to identify what you can do differently and you will have more power.
No one can change how you behave except for you, so committing to what you want to do will change how you react.
Remember the only race worth racing is the one with yourself, the more you focus on you the more opportunities will arise and collaborations will happen. You only have one life so focus on making it the best it can be
About the author
Ruth Kudzi is a business mentor, mindset coach and best-selling author who has worked with 1000s of clients worldwide. She combines practical business skills with a MA in Psychology and numerous coaching qualifications including NLP to help her clients build businesses they love.
