Going through a divorce is never easy. It’s a time filled with emotional turbulence, uncertainty and overwhelming life changes.
For many, the challenge of balancing personal upheaval with the responsibilities of work can feel like an impossible task. However, maintaining a career during this difficult period is not only possible, but it can also offer structure and stability in an otherwise chaotic time.
One of the most important things to remember during a divorce is that it’s okay to feel. The emotional toll of a marriage ending can be intense, with feelings of sadness, anger and anxiety surfacing at any moment. Acknowledge these emotions. Ignoring them or pretending everything is fine can be counterproductive. Instead, find ways to process what you’re going through without letting it interfere with your work. If a wave of emotion hits, give yourself a few moments to collect your thoughts before returning to the task at hand. It’s not about suppressing feelings but managing them.
Communication is also key during this period. While you don’t need to share every detail of your personal life, it might be helpful to inform your employer or manager that you’re going through a significant life event. This transparency can foster understanding and help explain any temporary dips in performance or availability. Your employer may even offer support, whether through flexible working hours or by providing additional resources. Opening up a dialogue ensures that expectations are clear on both sides, reducing any potential pressure you might feel.
Another crucial aspect of staying strong at work during a divorce is self-care. Divorce is emotionally and physically draining and if you don’t look after yourself, it can quickly take its toll on your wellbeing and your work. Make sure to get enough rest, eat well and carve out time for activities that help you recharge. Exercise, meditation or simply stepping outside for fresh air during your breaks can make a huge difference in how you handle stress. Maintaining a healthy routine will help keep your energy levels up, ensuring you can cope with the demands of both your personal and professional life.
Divorce can make it difficult to concentrate, with your mind often wandering to unresolved issues or painful memories. In these moments, it’s important to break down your workload into smaller, more manageable tasks. Instead of feeling overwhelmed by large projects, focus on one thing at a time. Completing smaller tasks can give you a sense of accomplishment and keep you grounded in the present. If you find your concentration slipping, it’s okay to take short breaks to regain focus. The goal is to stay productive without burning out.
Boundaries are essential during a divorce, especially when it comes to work relationships. While it can be helpful to share what you’re going through with a trusted colleague, it’s important not to overshare. Setting boundaries allows you to maintain a professional space where work remains separate from the emotional intensity of your personal life. It’s tempting to lean on colleagues for support, but keeping some distance helps protect your privacy and prevents work from becoming another emotionally charged environment.
In some cases, seeking professional support outside of work can be invaluable. A therapist or counsellor can provide a safe space to process your emotions and develop coping strategies. They can also offer tools to help you manage your thoughts and feelings so that they don’t spill over into your professional life. There’s no shame in seeking help; it’s a sign of strength, not weakness, to recognise when you need additional support.
Finally, be patient with yourself. Going through a divorce is a huge life change and it’s normal to feel like you’re not performing at your usual level. You might have days where everything feels too hard, and that’s okay. Allow yourself to have bad days, knowing that they don’t define your overall capability or future success. As long as you keep moving forward, even at a slower pace, you’re doing well.
In the end, staying strong at work during a divorce is about balance. You don’t have to be perfect, and you don’t have to do it all alone. By managing your emotions, maintaining open communication, prioritising self-care and setting clear boundaries, you can navigate the demands of work while healing from personal heartbreak. This is a challenging time, but with patience and resilience, you’ll find a way through. Life will move forward and so will you.
