The mental health at work ‘gold standard’: why this conversation matters, what it looks like, and a few steps to get you started

By Melissa Doman, M.A. Organisational Psychologist, Former Clinical Mental Health Therapist, & Author

Mental health matters, in every industry

Every single industry should have discussions about mental health.

I’m conscious that each person who reads this article has or will encounter their own set of challenges in their company and industry.  Specificities aside, change and defining what ‘good looks like’ is needed across the board, because every person in every business should have the right to feel safe to discuss mental health at work.

What do all businesses have in common? They’re staffed by humans that all have mental health, and many who may also have mental illness. Building on this, let’s look at standard practices that any organisation can implement to reach the ‘gold standard’.

What does gold standard look like?

‘Gold’ doesn’t happen overnight. It comes from practice and patience.  To get started, here are a few ideas on what ‘getting it right’ looks like as you make your way through bronze and silver:

Leaders:

• Emotionally intelligent and open about their own struggles to staff and other leaders.
• Feel encouraged by the company to prioritise their mental health so they can feel emotionally healthy and show up for their teams.
• Understand that being a leader doesn’t mean that they are expected to be faultless.

All Staff:

• Can come to work as they are and don’t feel a need to hide their mental health experiences (for fear of judgment).
• Empowered to speak up about mental health, to take mental health days as needed, and use company resources just as they would for physical health.
• Show basic empathy to one another.

Remember, you’re not training to become therapists at work. You’re equipping yourselves with the skillset required to understand and talk about experiences that are normal and prevalent: mental health and mental illness.

An important caveat: this is within the remit of work. You can be a supportive human being, but it’s not your job to save, fix, or treat someone.

Mental health and gender stereotypes

There are many countless factors that influence how we view mental health conversations, both inside and outside of work. Culture, ethnicity, religion, family upbringing, and more.

A huge one? You guessed it, gender*.

*I’m conscious there is a spectrum of gender identity and would never aim to exclude anyone’s experiences.

Stereotypes attached to gender and emotional displays have continued to be stubbornly present.

Yup, I’m shaking my head too. It’s being worked on, give it another 10+ years.

People of all gender identities can struggle with mental health. Unfortunately, no matter your gender, there are accompanying ridiculous stereotypes connected to displaying emotions, especially at work.

I call this gender-based emotion shaming, and it can come from everywhere and from anyone.

Where it’s toxic masculinity or ‘girl on girl crime’, countless people have reported hesitance to talk about their mental health at work. The reason? Potentially sacrificing their professional reputation.

Let’s set the record straight: being empathetic, articulating your feelings, and prioritising mental health are strengths. Those are some of the most highly sought after ‘traits’ employers look for, especially in leaders (I see you Jacinda Ardern).

My ask: be aware of the historical gender narrative and how it impacts this conversation. If you find yourself in a situation where someone is slinging gender-based stereotypes at you after speaking about your mental health at work, use honey, not vinegar. Simply say: “Talking about and managing my mental health is a healthy adult practice, regardless of gender.”

Please report back on how far that person’s jaw drops to the floor.

Conversations will shift your work culture – have a lot of them

The aim isn’t for every person to feel obligated to discuss mental health or mental illness at work. That approach is counterproductive and will make people feel uncomfortable.

The goal is for every person to feel they have the option, permission, and safety to discuss it. We can make these changes through the conversations we have at work. Conversations are what matter the most.

The goal?

Conversations that happen so often that they’re embedded in the company culture. A culture that shows and normalises life’s shades of grey. A culture that supports colleagues as they go through these experiences, resulting in a clear understanding that just because someone struggles with mental health doesn’t mean they’re incapable or some other untrue stereotype.

Here are some tips to encourage that culture shift in one-to-one conversations:

• Listen (put the tech away)
• Don’t judge
• Reassure that the conversation doesn’t change how you view them
• Ask questions, don’t give advice
• Seek to understand, don’t make assumptions
• Ask the type of support they want (listening or solutioning)
• Respect privacy
• Don’t unintentionally encourage toxic positivity (a silver lining isn’t always helpful)
• Watch your body language (e.g. no dear in headlights look)
• Normalise that they’re not alone
• Be clear on next steps (if needed)

What you can start doing today 

Changing a workplace culture and entrenched social norms requires patience and endurance. Just as you learned to walk, you’ll need to take this one step at a time, because it’s crucial to get right.

We all come to the topic of mental health with our beliefs and experiences. You will have your own experiences of mental health or mental illness, and your own motivation for why you want to learn more about the topic.

No matter where you’re at, or why you’re here, thank you for deepening your learning so you can make an impact.

A final thought – action matters here.

Why? Simply this: awareness is great – action is better ™.

About the author

Melissa Doman, MA, is an organisational psychologist and former therapist who specialises in mental health at work. Yes You Can Talk about Mental Health is available in all good bookshops. (Welbeck, £12.99)