The ten things that separate winners: who are you with? | Part Three

Welcome to part three of my series on how you can take steps to get where you want to go in life.

I had heard a great talk where the speaker noted that we are the sum of the five people we spend the most time with and the last five books that we’ve read.

You can read more about that in my first post in this series here.

We all know how we can be influenced by our circumstances and the things happening around us. I can’t tell you how many people I know who have stopped watching the news because it makes them feel negative. The same is true of the people we are around and how that impacts our lives and opportunities.

Back in the USA, I volunteered for a programme that supported low-income young people who wanted to attend university. After a few years, the programme ran into problems. Why? Young people were being accepted to university but their parents would not let them attend.

Culturally, they wanted their kids to live at home, even if that meant going without an education. We developed a programme for these parents too, so that they could spend time around other parents who had decided to let their kids move away. It was a success!

Press for Success

So, who are some of the people that you should be spending your time around if you want to become successful?

1 – The go-getters:

These are the people who are trying to get there with you. Maybe you were in the same management training course or had the same physical trainer. You are both trying to reach the same goals and you can support and encourage each other.

2 – The ‘been there, done that’ person:

You want to engage with people who have already done what you want to do. One of the biggest predictors of success is to have someone who has already succeeded to show you the way. Mark Zuckerberg had Sean Parker. Who do you have?

3 – Someone relaxed:

You can’t be superwoman or superman all of the time. How are you going to recharge? You can’t be a success if you are unhealthy and have no energy to make the changes you need to make. Who will go on a walk with you or provide a listening ear?

4 – Your cheerleaders:

Your family and friends can give you a real boost when things are down for the count. I started a business many years ago and remember that a shipment for a show I was doing ended up being late. It was nice to have support from my friends to help get me through.

5 – The devil’s advocate:

You also need people to help you think about next steps and the right way to move forward. It is easy to build up tunnel vision and listen to the cheerleaders 100 per cent of the time. The reality is that you need balance. Be careful though. These people should be giving you another perspective, not putting you down.

Do you have goals and people in your life who will help you reach them? Next time you are out networking, start to look for these people.

Thanks for reading this three-part series. Please connect with me on Twitter @Joy_Adams if you liked it!

Read Part One of this three-part series here

Read Part Two of this three-part series here

About the author

Joy Adams is a blogger and one of WATCs 2015 Rising Stars. She is a British-American businesswoman who has worked in both the public and private sectors in the US and UK. Joy currently serves on the Advisory Board for Vital Voices Europe, an organization dedicated to supporting and developing women leaders. She also writes a lifestyle blog for budding philanthropists and art collectors at

The Workher blog is all about taking your work life to the next level with practical tips and details on the latest news about pay, progression, and opportunities.





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