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When dating.. Yes!! Call it sweet delayed gratification!! And don’t panic!!You’ll survive!! I’m living proof!
Here is how I see dating altogether!! I mean to have fun, meet more people, explore who I am, really!!, what I like and what I really do not like!! So I am going through my universe of guys that I think I would like!! I recognise, very deeply, that there is a big chasm right in between what I think I would like and what I end up liking!!! It’s a weakness, I know, but at least, I embrace that weakness boldly by taking my time in making lifelong decisions and also by trying different things with different ‘likeables’!
The likeable universe, is huge! well, what is huge for me, maybe very small for you. But I tend to like many of them. Fortunately (or maybe unfortunately on some accounts), not every single guy who comes my way meet all the things that I have stated in my selection criteria!! Some say, I should let go of this selection criteria, but here’s the thing, if I want to end up in Timbuktu for example but don’t have a map that will lead me there, how the hell am I expected to finally end up in Timbuktu!! I may well end up in a town called ChaCha (where ever that is) and could assume that to be Timbuktu but in reality, ChaCha is not Timbuktu!! So I need to be clear in my mind how I select my guys, and for me, I use my 4 major mapping points to lead me to my Timbuktu!!
Even with my mapping points, the expectations placed on sex after 3 or 4 dates is superbly high in this supposedly modern ‘microwave’ world!! Everyone wants the pull the future into the present!! Yeah, usually people would do that on the stock market for example, so that all would know how much something is worth today!!and when they do know, the purpose is not to enjoy the fruit of that investment today… No!! the purpose is to know how much something is worth today! buy into it, hold on to the investment, allow it to build up value and enjoy the fruit in the future!! (most of the time, that is the idea!!) So it is on the dating scene (or market!)
So for me, the standard 3 or 4 dates is way too short and quick for me!! In 3 dates all that I’ve learnt about the guy is what he has told me about him, whether it’s true or not! In 3 dates, I don’t know if he’ll still be by my side if God forbid, I’m to loose everything, hell I’m not even sure if I’ll know in 6months! So then, how can I give away something, which is meant to be a demonstration of how much I am into him, care about and possibly love him when I know zilch about him?!
Saying #notosex during dating when getting to know guys is not too much to ask or is it?! Let me know what you think!
-WiseGirl
