So I recently got a call from my good mate who asked me about why courting women has changed in recent times.
She’s used to a conventional date, which is to meet up with somebody and have dinner or some other activity such as bowling. She’d been on 4 dates recently. Each of those dates consisted of going for two drinks and then going separate ways. They lasted about 45 minutes and left her in a state of shock (I had to tell her about my other friend who got taken for a train station coffee on a date that lasted 15 minutes, to make her feel better). She couldn’t wrap her head around the concept of this method of dating. She asked me whether it was to do with the state of the men’s finances or a lack of interest in her. It’s not something I’ve ever done so I told her I’d ask around and the answers were good enough to write about.
he made it a rule never to say lunch or dinner just in case he found the person unbearable.
I quizzed a group of single men who were very drunk when I got to them and therefore very unguarded in their comments. The first guy said that he always took girls for drinks unless he thought that they were really good looking. As a serial internet dater he had a forward diary of 3 dates a week and so he couldn’t afford to take them all out for dinner but if one of the girls he was going for a date with happened to be a knock out or was someone he really gelled with on the phone then dinner was on the cards. He also said that going for drinks was the perfect excuse not to prolong spending time in the company of someone you had no intention of seeing again. If he did like the person then he’d suggest going for dinner or something else afterwards.
The other guy said that he would suggest drinks only because he wanted to see whether or not he liked the person and if he did then he would suggest going to eat but he made it a rule never to say lunch or dinner just in case he found the person unbearable. The other fellow was only after sex so he suggested drinks so that they could lose their inhibitions and he might get lucky. The aim was to consume as much alcohol as possible in as short a time as possible therefore increasing the chances of a physical encounter.
There was another guy within the group who was quiet by nature. He said he needed a bit of Dutch courage on a first date as he was nervous. Drinks allowed him to come out of his shell and become relaxed. If they got on well then he would offer to engage in further activities that involved having a conversation with the lady. Another guy within the group who was quite young said that he would suggest drinks on the first date because he might have had a night out planned with his friend, which he wasn’t prepared to compromise on. If he liked the girl then she would accompany him along on the night out. He felt that it was a good way to see if she would get on with his friends and if they would like her in return before they go any further.
He said he needed a bit of Dutch courage on a first date as he was nervous. Drinks allowed him to come out of his shell and become relaxed.
From what I ascertained the reason for this method of dating is the fact that options are so varied in terms of dates that people would rather see whether the person is worth their while before committing to more than a bit of liquid with ice thrown in as if the person isn’t the next date is only round the corner.