Write to connect and compel | Show Up & Sparkle

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How to engage and keep people’s attention

When writing, one of the easiest things to do is just quickly type or write what you ‘think’ needs to be said and give a ‘shoot from your fingertip’ response and assume that the other person will work it out. Well they might and they might also get confused, upset, hurt or simply bored and ignore your message.

Every day we’re writing: emails, marketing materials, website content, reports, executive summaries, presentations, letters or proposals. I’ve noticed something which really jumps out and it’s something you can easily take notice of as you write. People think because they’re writing something ‘business related’ it has to be written in a more formal, often ‘wooden’ style just because it’s in writing. Well it does – and it doesn’t.

Context is everything; most of the things we send out daily can be written in a style closer to how we speak. Now you may speak in a “To Whom It May Concern” and “Notwithstanding the aforementioned” kind-of way. Well good luck if you do. I also understand that we still need to be respectful and make sure all the ‘meaty’ information is in there. Most of the time, if you write in this style then you’ve lost the reader at “Hello” or “To Whom It May Concern”. You’d lose me, that’s for sure.

Something happens when someone starts to write, that often sends them in to using ‘you are’ instead of ‘you’re” and ‘we’re’ becomes ‘we are’ – it becomes more formal and less compelling because of it. Also, the crucial connecting words of you, your, our, suddenly turn into me, my, I, us and we. The readers feel excluded, talked-down-to or bored (or all three!)

I put it to you, if you can hold a conversation, if you can get your point across as you speak, chat – then you can write in the same way, there’s a style you have that’s yours and that’s how you can write. It is far more compelling to your reader than all the ‘stuffy’ stuff.

Here’s how you can do this easily:

  • Who can you use in your head to speak to as you write? A client you know well, a friend of yours who’s interested in what you do, your partner or sibling. Just write as if you were chatting to them so you get it out of your head, then you can tweak and adjust to make sure you’ve got your point across. The key is to get it out of your head in a conversational way first.
  • Think about what you’d want to read and the way you’d like to read it as if you were on the receiving end – what’s the difference?
  • Watch out for too many I, me, my – notice how you can flip them and make them your, you, you’re or our. It’s far more engaging to read and it helps you get into that crucial groove of thinking about the other person and what it is they want. Less about you, more about them. Oh and avoid starting every paragraph with ‘I’ – no-one cares as much about what you think, as about what they think.

Notice how you’re drawn in to certain people’s writing or companies’ websites and the effects they have on you; writing more like you speak and less like a competitor for the Formal Writing Trials is a skill. A skill which will mean more people read and connect with what you write and, the crucial bit, respond to you and what you want. Write on!


I’d love to hear what you think. You can leave me a comment or a note here. Here’s an immediate and practical Gift of you!  A complimentary copy of “Do You Have Trouble Saying NO?”

Let me walk you through the mindsets, strategies and exact words and phrases to use to ensure you keep stronger, more assertive boundaries for yourself and your time without upsetting yourself, or the other person.  Also, you’ll receive my twice-monthly eZine filled with more tips, tools, ideas and news.

Kay White
About the author

Kay White is our Show Up & Sparkle blogger. Known as the Savvy & Influential Communication Expert for Ambitious Women in Business, Kay shows professional women how to attract promotion, recognition and rewards at work without feeling they have to ’sell their soul. Kay shows her clients, who are corporate career women at all different stages of their careers, how to naturally attract more income and opportunity all while being true to themselves. Combining strategic moves with influencing skills plus compelling and assertive language and powerful mindsets, Kay draws on her own 20+ years corporate career in the very male-dominated world of London insurance broking. She started at 18 as a Secretary and left as a Director to start her own business. Hosting an annual 3-day Event for corporate women “Show Up; Sparkle & Be Heard LIVE” Kay encourages and shows women how to be the best, most valuable version of themselves. Kay is author of the Number 1 Best-Seller “The A to Z of Being Understood” and you can connect and find out more from Kay at : www.kaywhite.com.

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