How to fail your way to success: My top 3 tips on how to get out of your own way and get what you really want | Jaz Ampaw-Farr

By Jaz Ampaw-Farr

Mixed race businesswoman giving a presentation at a meetingLet’s face facts. You are stronger, wiser and more powerful than you give yourself credit for.

This past year has shown us that. But sometimes, your default is to doubt yourself, talk your achievements down and to play a smaller game. Then there is the apologising. Have you noticed how many times a day us women say “sorry”?

So why do we do this to ourselves?

Well quite often, it’s connected with a fear of failure.

Facing up to failure

We sit and compare ourselves with others and declare them more glamorous, more successful, more…well, everything! This make us silently feel bad for not being ‘enough’. And let’s be honest, none of us actually like to fail at anything. But it’s how you react to that failure that makes all of the difference. The first step in addressing this is getting really clear, comfortable and confident in who you are and who you want to become. Decide, right now, what is your goal? Where do you want to be in 12 months time?

If you’ve vowed to up your game in the post pandemic era, go for that promotion or start that new business venture, then here are my top three tips to tackle whatever life throws at you, and how to get what you really want.

The three R’s of resilience 

  1. Responsibility – Take responsibility for what you can control – and ONLY for what you can control! Make a promise to yourself to stop worrying about all the things you can’t change or impact directly and focus your energy on your goal. So if you’re going for that new job or pitching for new business, don’t invest time worrying you won’t be as good as the other candidates. Focus on how lucky the company will be to have your unique strengths.
  1. Reach out beyond what you think is possible – It’s much easier to hide behind a rock but nothing will change until your desire for things to be different is bigger stronger and more powerful than your fear of trying. Take the brave step of venturing out of your comfort zone. Ask for help, guidance and advice from others who have already walked the path you want to take. And take a hard look at what is holding you back. Is it the stories you’re telling yourself? Ditch the negative self-talk and start to believe in yourself. Positive affirmations each morning definitely helps with this.
  1. Reframe your thinking – Saving the best for last, the most important element of becoming resilient and getting what you really want is your ability to reframe your failures and mistakes. Failure is an inevitable part of life, even more so if you’re an entrepreneur so focus on your bounce back strategy. In this post-pandemic world being agile is key. Great leaders have one thing in common – their ability to reframe, pivot and go again.

What always helps me to reframe my thoughts is coming back to ‘my why’: remember why you’re doing this, why is your goal so important to you? Even if you hit disaster, remembering your ‘why’ will help keep you going. I also find asking myself ‘What would Beyonce do?’ – which is great for providing another perspective.

Fail your way to success

Whether you’ve committed to building your resilience as a new CEO, you’re taking a new career path, or you want to learn how to cope with everyday life struggles, I can guarantee that nurturing your ability to reframe your thoughts, pivot and go again is the secret sauce to your success. Because failure isn’t an ‘if’, it’s a ‘when’. And as soon as we learn to accept that failure is essential part of the process, and not to be afraid of it, then things will be become easier, and you will become unstoppable.

And luckily for us, resilience is a choice, that becomes a habit, and with practice, part of who you are.

Jaz Ampaw-FarrAbout the author

Jaz Ampaw- Farr is a ‘resilience ninja’, coveted international keynote speaker and author, who also starred in series 9 of the Apprentice. Hailed ‘the UK’s answer to Oprah’, Jaz inspires tens of thousands of people around the globe on how to overcome adversity, be braver and handle whatever life throws at you. For more information about Jaz, her courses and how you can work with her visit


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