By Jennifer Soran Boon
In a world where outward appearances and materialistic things matter it can be easy to be caught up in the trap of believing our worth is linked to what we get paid.
We are conditioned to be on the treadmill of earning and aiming for each next best thing we can get caught up in the trap of thinking that what we earn matters to who we are and what we bring to the world, it doesn’t.
Self-worth comes from within. Self-worth is an inside job.
When we look outside for validation, be it from our payslips, from those around us or from likes on social media, we give away our inner power and strength.
It is easy to get caught up in the earnings ladder of the belief that what you earn is an indication of your value, especially as what you earn has an impact on what you can afford to do. Yet when we get caught up in the belief that what is on our payslip is a score of our self-worth we disconnect from our sturdiness and rooted knowledge that we are enough, regardless of what we earn and regardless of any other ways our self-worth is measured.
If this sounds familiar to you, there are some ways to support you back to self-value.
Get curious
Explore what thoughts and feelings are on repeat about this. Are there beliefs that you hold about what makes you worthy in this world? When we start looking at our inner thoughts and beliefs we have the chance to question them and ask if they are supporting us in being enough as we are or if they are holding us stuck in a game of ever reaching for the next pay band increase.
Self-compassion and acceptance
Bring self-compassion and kindness along when exploring this. Often we berate ourselves when we think that there is something we are doing ‘wrong’ or if we uncover a belief that is not supporting us in being our most empowered self. When we bring love and self-acceptance along, we soften the stance on what is good/ bad and we see we are here trying the best we can with the conditioning we have had- and we have all had that conditioning with our self-worth.
Start noticing what you do
Every day bring awareness to all that you do in your life and notice the ripples you make to the lives around you. Notice this not for praise, but to see that you make a difference regardless of how much you earn. This goes in the workplace and in your life generally. When we notice the ripples we make, we feel less attached to what we are paid and see that we are making a difference in our lives and those around us. This helps increase our sturdiness and strength in who we are.
Changing the conditioning
We all have beliefs that hold us stuck in ways of thinking and being. As said, when we recognise these beliefs, we have a chance to change them. We can start changing the conditioning. Start questioning the beliefs you have, reflect and explore where you think they came from and ask yourself if they are helping you be your most empowered self, if they are, then that is great, but if they are not, you can let go of it, this sounds hard to do, but bit by bit noticing and catching yourself when you buy into the belief you are wanting to change is the way to break free from it.
Know your worth in your body
Our self-worth is a felt experience. We need to feel it in our bodies not just say it and know it in our heads. Connect into your self-worth centre, your solar plexus energy centre (above your tummy button) and in that space, imagine it glowing yellow with strength and knowing that you are worthy regardless of your pay.
Self-worth is an inside job – there is no quick trick to building your self-worth, but showing up day by day and seeing your value and being sturdy in this (whatever you are paid ) will hold less importance in your life when we see the value we add regardless of our payslip we shed, we shed the tether that money holds over us because our worthiness is not marked by what we earn it is marked by who we are, who we truly are -and how much love we create in this world that is the true measure and it starts with self-love.
About the author
Jennifer Soran Boon is an inner wisdom coach, speaker and author of Be the Change: A Healing And Empowering Handbook For Women on sale now. For more information about Jennifer see www.jennifersoranboon.com.
