By Just Like Us
As a parent, your greatest wish is for your child to grow up feeling safe, loved, and accepted. Creating a home environment that actively embraces and supports allyship to the LGBT+ community is essential.
Whether your child is LGBT+ or not, fostering a culture of acceptance within your household lays the foundation for their wellbeing and growth into a confident, compassionate individual.
The Importance of Family Support
LGBT+ young people who grow up in inclusive and accepting homes are significantly more likely to lead happy, fulfilling lives. But, even in 2025, many LGBT+ young people are still struggling with family rejection, misunderstanding, or simply a lack of open dialogue.
Research by Just Like Us shows that LGBT+ young adults are twice as likely as their straight peers to feel disconnected from their families. Worse still, nearly half of LGBT+ young people have experienced estrangement from at least one family member.
This disconnection often stems not from overt rejection, but from silence. If a parent or carer fails to explicitly affirm that being LGBT+ is normal and acceptable, children can be left unsure of their place in their own family. If parents don’t talk about LGBT+ topics, children may assume it’s something shameful or off-limits.
Becoming a Proactive Ally
Even if your child is not LGBT+, raising them to be an ally is a vital step in fostering a more inclusive society. Encourage them to stand up against homophobic or transphobic language, celebrate diverse friendships, and educate themselves about LGBT+ issues.
Your role as an ally extends beyond your family. Challenge outdated stereotypes, call out discrimination, and ensure that your home is a place where everyone—LGBT+ or not—feels valued and respected.
Starting the Conversation
It’s never too early to talk about LGBT+ topics at home. Here are some simple ways to introduce inclusive discussions:
- Use inclusive language: Instead of assuming a future opposite-sex partner for your child, keep it open-ended: “One day, if you decide to have a partner, I hope they make you happy.”
- Normalise LGBT+ identities: Books, films, and TV shows featuring LGBT+ characters are great conversation starters. Watching and discussing these together makes inclusion a natural part of your family’s values.
- Address harmful language: Make it clear that phrases like “that’s so gay” are not acceptable. Explain why such language can be harmful and encourage your child to challenge it when they hear it.
- Celebrate diversity: Pride events, LGBT+ history lessons, and discussions about diverse families show children that LGBT+ people are valued members of society.
What If My Child Comes Out to Me?
If your child comes out to you, your response can shape their entire experience of their identity. Some key things to keep in mind:
- Express unconditional love – Even if you feel unprepared, the most important thing to say is, “I love you, and this doesn’t change that.”
- Acknowledge their courage – Coming out is a vulnerable experience. A simple “Thank you for trusting me” can be powerful.
- Listen and ask what they need – Every LGBT+ person’s journey is different. Some may want to talk in depth; others may need time.
- Educate yourself – It’s okay not to know everything. Research and ask questions from trusted sources rather than expecting your child to teach you.
- Advocate for them – Support their school in being inclusive, challenge anti-LGBT+ rhetoric among friends and family, and make sure they know you stand with them.
The role of schools in LGBT+ inclusion
While home is the foundation, school plays a crucial role in shaping a young person’s self-esteem and experiences. Sadly, LGBT+ students are still twice as likely to be bullied compared to their peers. As a parent, you can:
- Encourage your child’s school to participate in School Diversity Week, an annual event celebrating LGBT+ inclusion.
- Ask whether the school provides LGBT+ resources and teacher training.
- Advocate for a Pride Group at your child’s secondary school, or encourage the school to book a school talk from Just Like Us to increase representation.
Allyship is not about being perfect
Being an ally is not about having all the answers — it’s about being willing to learn, listen, and grow alongside your child. Whether or not your child is LGBT+, fostering an accepting household ensures they, and all the young people they encounter, feel safe and supported.
By taking steps to openly discuss and celebrate LGBT+ identities, you are contributing to a world where every child — regardless of their identity — knows they are loved and valued exactly as they are.
Just Like Us’ LGBT+ Guide for Parents is out now.
