During training, participants will sometimes admit to having an arch-rival who they absolutely can’t stand. A colleague who rubs them the wrong way or completely frustrates them.
At this point, I usually ask them if they’re up for a challenge. After I get a hesitant head nod, I jump in and say “OK, great, here’s your assignment: For the next 2 weeks your job is to treat that person as if they are your buddy, your friend, your mate.”
I explain they’re to interact with that person as if they were someone they like, someone who’s already a good friend.
After a horrified reaction and insisting they can’t possibly do that because they would feel like a fraud, I challenge them again and ask if they’re willing to step out of their comfort zone and be surprised.
Here are some behaviours to use.
In virtual interactions, use these behaviours:
- Ask them questions
- Use active listening when they are speaking (click here for video on active listening)
- Laugh at their jokes, even when the jokes aren’t funny (‘cause you know you do that with your real friends sometimes)
- Wish the person a good weekend with upbeat and friendly energy
In face-to-face interactions, include these behaviours:
- Sit next to them in meetings
- Make eye contact with them and have a soft smile
- Offer to get them a coffee/tea when you’re getting yourself one
You will likely feel like a fraud and inauthentic at first. Don’t let this stop you. Use these behaviours consistently for 2 weeks and watch the results.
WARNING: there’s a very high probability, that as the person starts to respond differently, you’re going to start to like them. Good news, your feelings of inauthenticity will dissipate, and you may even become buddies!
Read this article by clicking the image…
…and discover how being good to others can be good for you too.
Treating other people well isn’t just good for your karma. It’s good for your health and vitality, too!
Watch The Science of Kindness as food for thought:
If you’re ready to upgrade your life, enhance your communication & leadership skills and become the best version of you, check out Amy Carroll Coaching on YouTube.
Join Amy at one of her events in 2025: The Online Open Program (4 online sessions from April 2025) OR The Communication Catalyst Retreat in Switzerland June 9-12 face to face! For more FREE RESOURCES head to Amy’s Resources 4 U page.
About the author
Amy Carroll is a business coach and motivational speaker, specialising in leadership and positive influence.
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IG: Amy Carroll Coach | Linkedin: Amy Carroll Coaching | www.carrollcoaching.com
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