By Sarah Langslow
You are powerful. (Whether you realise it or not).
Power in a professional context comes in many forms. The most common is the power bestowed through a position of authority. This can manifest as reward power, where you can incentivise and reward desired behaviour, or coercive power uses the threat of punishment to cause certain actions. However, even without a position of authority the chances are you still hold power. Expert or informational power relates to skills or knowledge held that others don’t possess. There is also referent power, where someone is well-liked and thus holds sway, and connection power, where specific relationships provide access to power and influence.
Your power may also come simply through being confident, competent, knowledgeable, sure of yourself (at least on the outside), charismatic, quietly diligent, generous, and warm; whatever form, it is still power. It doesn’t have to be a loud, brash, confident version of power for you to still be a powerful human.
And it matters. Power amplifies the importance of everything you do. It causes those around you to add meaning and significance to your actions, particularly your micro-interactions.
So, what are micro-interactions? They are what we say, and don’t say. They are how we say things: the phrasing, tone, timing, and energy. They are what we listen to and what we ignore, the questions we ask and how we ask them. They are the smiles, frowns and flashes of irritation that pass across our faces. They are our habits and behaviours. In short, they are the moments of connection we have with other humans that occur in their multitudes every single day.
Power influences all your micro-interactions; it causes people to sit up and pay attention. Others will add meaning to your actions as they try to figure out why you’re taking those actions, what is behind them, and what else might happen as a consequence. We can explore the impact of our power across four dimensions.
Speaking
When combined with power dynamics, what we say can have an unintended impact. The topic you open a meeting with might be given unintended importance by those listening. Where you choose to focus, short-term or long-term, problems or opportunities, can start to become the norm for your team. Throwaway phrases attract added significance and can become labels: “He’s a bit disorganised” or “She isn’t detail-orientated”. Even when meant in jest: “Legal always say no to everything”, such phrases can create a belief within a group.
It’s not only what we say, but when we speak. In a group setting where you are in a position of power, once you speak, you risk shutting down the group’s creative thinking. Even when not in charge, simply speaking first can cast yourself into the dominant role. It can even happen just because your voice is naturally louder. So, take care when you add in your perspective, and unless you intend to end the conversation, it may be better to wait.
Listening
The significance of what we listen to and where we direct our attention is also magnified by power. Which conversations, or indeed people, do you allow to go uninterrupted, and which do you shut down? How do you respond to requests from your team, or to pieces of feedback you receive? This also applies to written communication, in particular the emails and messages we respond to rapidly, vs those we sit on or ignore. Your choices in each will be interpreted by those around you in terms of what you do and don’t care about, what is important, and what isn’t.
Behaviour
Beyond what you say, as a leader, you also set the tone, and your behaviours influence the culture. This can be particularly problematic when there is a mismatch between what you say and what you do, as it causes confusion and uncertainty.
Do you say how important it is to be punctual, yet frequently arrive a little late to meetings? Do you preach the importance of taking time off, but always take your laptop with you and work while you’re on holiday? Do you get frustrated when your team don’t come to you when they’re struggling, yet your calendar is always back-to-back with no space? Through these actions you are training those around you on how to behave, influencing the culture of your team through the way you are interacting with them.
Whenever you find yourself frustrated with how your team is behaving, as a leader the first place to look is to yourself. Try asking: how might I be responsible for it going this way? What am I doing (albeit unintentionally) that might be enabling or encouraging this behaviour?
Emotion
Just like yawns, emotions are contagious. Emotional contagion[1] describes our tendency to observe and copy the emotions and behaviours of others. It spreads through observations of facial expressions, vocal tone, and even posture. The contagion often happens within milliseconds and without our being fully conscious it is happening, and it is often connected to our need to belong.
Power magnifies the impact of the emotion, as it’s not only about wanting to fit in, but needing to; it will almost always be safer to align with and even mimic the emotion shown by the person in charge. So, on a day when you walk in – or join a video call – with a face that looks like you’re carrying the weight of the world on you, don’t be surprised if your team also seem a bit subdued. The reverse is equally true. When you walk in with a smile on your face and a cheery hello, that vibe can spread through the whole team, lifting the mood and spreading positivity.
If you want to have the impact you intend through your micro-interactions, awareness of your power is key. How someone responds to what you say and do will be affected by any power dynamic in the space. Your job is to act and adjust accordingly.
About the author
Sarah Langslow is an executive coach and leadership development specialist. She integrates leadership lessons from a sporting career as a rower, including competing twice in the Oxford and Cambridge Boat Race, a 15-year corporate career across management consulting and finance, and experience as an entrepreneur with her own coaching and leadership development business. Sarah has an MA and an MBA from the University of Cambridge and is accredited by the International Coaching Federation (ICF) as a Professional Certified Coach. Sarah’s new best-selling book “Do Sweat The Small Stuff” illuminates the often unrecognised power of micro-interactions to supercharge leadership effectiveness and people development.
Source
[1] Hatfield, Elaine, Cacioppo, John T., and Rapson, Richard L. ‘Emotional contagion’. Current Directions in Psychological Science, vol. 2, no. 3, Jun. 1993, pp. 96–100. Available at http://www.elainehatfield.com/uploads/3/4/5/2/34523593/50._hatfield_cacioppo__rapson_1993.pdf
