Menopause can seem scary. After all, much of what we hear and read in the press, leads us to believe that it’s a phase in life that we should try very hard to avoid. But, it’s a fact of life for all of us born with ovaries. We can’t avoid it, but we can prepare for it.
It’s important to note that every woman’s experience is unique to them. That 25% sail through with only a few variable periods. While most of us will be crossing our fingers and hoping that’s us, education has to be our first step. Should we be one of the other 75% who have at least one troubling symptom, we need to give ourselves the ability to choose our course of action.
Menopause will force us to revisit many of the lessons we have learnt about ourselves and our workplace behaviours. We will have to be both vulnerable and focussed on our desired outcome, as we ask for help and support. We will need to talk confidently when we feel uncomfortable and at times embarrassed. Lastly, we will need to focus on our networks and relationships more than ever before, to maintain and nurture them.
The tips below step us through the key challenges that this phase brings:
Be aware: We all need to educate ourselves in what menopause is and how it might impact us. Too many spend months if not years trying to understand what is happening, visiting their doctor with individual symptoms. We must learn how to join the dots for ourselves
Be honest: We might not like to think our symptoms are impacting us in the way they are but hiding from it helps no one, least of all us. If we are struggling face it and get the support that we need.
Ask for support: Whether this is at work or at home, there are no benefits to soldiering on, exhausting ourselves before we step forward. Employers are coming round to the idea that they need to be proactive, or they will lose valuable skilled people. Partners want to help but often don’t know where to start. The onus is on each of us to say what we need and when.
Talk confidently: When we talk about our menopause, we need to be aware that we are defining how others think and talk about us. This is particularly important in our places of work. Be upfront especially if our symptoms are impacting how we do our work. Remember we are role modelling how others speak about us when we are not there.
Look after our relationships: This is critical, yet something that all too frequently gets forgotten. Menopause impacts relationships at home and at work. We need to invest in keeping those bonds connected by talking and role modelling throughout.
Keep focusing on your ambitions: Menopause doesn’t diminish our ambitions, a lack of support does. In fact, as we move through this phase in life, we become more focused and able to achieve our goals. We need to revisit them regularly and adjust them as we go.
The important thing to remember is that this is not the end, but a beginning. It’s an opportunity to drive the second phase of our womanhood in a direction that benefits us. Over our menopause years, we will shed the things that are no longer important to us and focus on our ambitions. We become more powerful, visible, focussed and driven.
When we think about post menopause in these terms, it stops being scary and starts to become an advantage.
About the Author:
Kate Usher is an experienced Menopause Coach and gender equity consultant. She works with women and organisations to create simple strategies that enable modern and supportive Menopause conversations. Ensuring women retain their careers and organisations continue to benefit from some of their most brilliant employees. She is an internationally published author, her book ‘Your Second Phase – reclaiming work and relationships during and after Menopause’ was shortlisted for the Business Book of the Year Award.
Read more about Menopause in our dedication section here.
