By Kirsty Maynor
Personal experience – coupled with more than 25 years as a change strategist coaching senior leaders – has shown me how difficult it can be to create lasting changes in our lives.
Sometimes, we might find ourselves stuck and unable to move forwards, or embark on a path of change only to find ourselves unable to finish what we started.
I wrote about this in my book “Untangled” and here are my top ten tips for creating lasting change – the kind which makes a real difference – in your life:
1. Ask questions
Ask yourself what it is that you want to create for yourself, and, most importantly, why. Journalling can help you drill down below the surface and identify what really matters. Asking yourself the important questions about what you really want out of life will help you decide on the best course of action to get you there.
2. Make space – physically and mentally
Taking control of our surroundings is especially important when we’re in the midst of change. For me, creating a calm and pleasant space – both at home and at work – helps me to think more clearly, and feel more relaxed and energised. Little things like lighting a scented candle or adding a colourful throw or cushion to a chair can make a huge difference to how you feel, making it easier to find clarity about what you want from life.
3. Ask for help
As women, we’re often determined to prove ourselves and “go it alone”, but in reality we don’t need to: nobody will think any less of you for reaching out and asking for help. Years ago, I asked a group of trusted friends and colleagues to help me raise some investment capital. If I hadn’t asked for their help, my business would have collapsed, creating a significant ripple effect for myself and everyone who worked for me. Twelve years on, the business is thriving and I’m able to continue doing the work that I love, and making a difference to other people’s lives.
4. Choose your team
During times of change, we can all benefit from the support of the people closest to us. I don’t mean every friend and acquaintance in your address book. I mean that tiny, core group of people whose opinions and views truly matter to you, the ones who 100% have your back and want you to succeed. Identify those people – your people – and know that you can rely on their support.
5. Recognise your strengths
Knowing what you’re good at (and what you’re not) is the best starting point for creating lasting change. If you’ve ever had a false start and embarked on a project that came to nothing, perhaps it was because it didn’t play to your strengths in the first place. Start by identifying your strengths (you can ask friends or colleagues to help), then decide how you can incorporate them into your future plans.
As women, we’re often determined to prove ourselves and “go it alone”, but in reality we don’t need to: nobody will think any less of you for reaching out and asking for help.
6. Celebrate your achievements
It’s vital to celebrate your achievements – however small – because it helps keep you on track for your bigger goals. Celebrate the fact that you were brave enough to step out of your comfort zone and start working towards something bigger, and everything else that you achieve on your journey – because that’s where the true learning and growth comes from.
7. Swap resolutions for a theme
Instead of resolutions, I try to start each year with a set of intentions that reflect themes I find rewarding and which encourage growth. In the past, these themes have ranged from “nourish”, “integrate” and “the year of me”, to simply “joy”. I guarantee that if you do the same, you’re much more likely to create sustainable change in your life.
8. Take small steps and experiment
You’re not Neil Armstrong and contrary to popular belief, change doesn’t have to take place in giant leaps; baby steps are just as effective, often more so. When we’re making significant changes in our lives it makes sense to take things slowly, experiment, and course-correct if we need to.
9. There’s nothing wrong with trying again
We all go through different phases in our lives, so just because something didn’t work for you in the past, doesn’t mean it won’t work for you in the future. If there’s something that you’d like to give another try in 2024, start by paying attention to what you might want to do differently, so you can set yourself up for success this time around.
10. Failing at something doesn’t make you a failure
If you’re in the midst of creating change that’s not working for you, listen to your “inner voice” and remember to give yourself permission to stop, let go and choose something different. It doesn’t mean you’re giving up; learning how to pick yourself up when you fall is a sign of strength, not failure.
About the author
Kirsty Maynor is an entrepreneur, mother, author of “Untangled”, change and leadership specialist and founder and CEO of Firefly, a female-led team of organisational culture change and leadership development specialists who are igniting better futures, today.
Navigating change has been part of Kirsty Maynor’s professional and personal life for more than three decades. An internationally sought-after specialist, leadership consultant and elite accredited executive coach, Kirsty has traversed some of life’s most difficult transitions; like redundancy, bereavement, divorce and raising a teenager – and emerged happier, smarter, more fulfilled and still standing.
She is the first Scottish member of the elite global Transformational Leadership Council. Her first book, Untangled, published on 28 November, guides individuals through change to fully realise their potential.
Visit www.kirstymaynor.com or find Kirsty on Instagram and LinkedIn.
