Gone are the days of women stabbing each other in the back, or using aggressive tactics to get ahead in their career. Today the really successful women are genuinely supportive of each other. And they know it is the foundation of their own success.
It used to be about ‘making it in a man’s world’ and using your ‘steel heels’ to get to the corner office or ‘being a fighter and a warrior’ to get the success you wanted. If you had a female boss you’d not expect her to care or be empathetic of your family situation or having a sick kid at home. Oh no, she’d make sure to be extra evil because she wanted to show the boys that ‘she was one of them’.
Women used to adopt very masculine traits in order ‘to get to the top’. Because, the top is what we sisters wanted, wasn’t it!
Luckily the definition of success is rapidly changing for most women and leaders are waking up to a reality that their organisations are much better functioning if both feminine and masculine traits are nurtured and developed.
What I have seen during hundreds of DrivenWoman group meetings and talking to thousands of women, is that most women have been conditioned to conform to the traditional success symbols of status and career success. This is a very masculine way to look at the world and thus women have been looking for the affirmation and approval of men around them.
There’s been much shame associated with expressing ourselves authentically because the society has told us for so long that it is not ok to be who we are and want the things we want, often very different to those defined by men.
In a situation where we have been constantly looking for the male approval for our actions it has created a no-go zone between women, everyone competing for the limelight.
But this week things took a radically new turn in the aftermath of Harvey Weinstein scandal. What started as a Facebook campaign – #metoo – women started posting status updates telling the world that they too had been sexually harassed. Suddenly we were not competing for the attention, we started claiming our own power as women.
This is a major shift.
Sharing our stories openly is the same as owning our story. You can not own your story in secret. As long as we feel ashamed about who we are, our experiences and our dreams, we are not claiming our own power and are dancing to someone else’s tune.
What if we’d now apply the same principle to everything else in our lives? Can you imagine a world where women would openly share their difficulties, challenges and their dreams with each other rather than compete for the attention of the male in the room? Do you think we’d be freer to do what we want?
The future of female success is not in playing the perfection game any more. As soon as we stop hiding our true aspirations and dreams we can start to move towards a more fulfilling future and a success that is meaningful for us on a personal level. We can’t it do alone, but the good news is that your sisters are there right behind you!
I founded DrivenWoman on that principle, women coming together to support and encourage each other towards a bigger life. It’s a members’ network that helps women define their own success, create positive habits and put plans into action, one small step at a time. We do this by sharing our progress, keeping each other accountable and inspiring each other in monthly group meetings. Our groups currently operate in the London area, Switzerland, Finland and Singapore and we are soon opening groups across Europe and Australia.
We are now recruiting independent Group Leaders across the UK (and beyond). If you are interested to learn more about the opportunity and join our global movement, click here.
About the author
Miisa Mink is founder and chief-doer at DrivenWoman, a members network for women with ideas and ambition who want to achieve their goals.