How to portray confidence when confidence doesn’t come naturally

Confidence at workNo matter who you are or what you want to achieve, confidence is key. I know that for many working professionals – and especially women – confidence doesn’t always come that naturally.

But there are things you can do to exude the sort of confidence that will open doors for you, and the real thing should follow soon after.

The big thing to remember is that confidence is all about mindset. If you don’t believe that you deserve to thrive, then unfortunately you aren’t going to make the sorts of choices that will allow you to thrive. So my first piece of advice to you, to my clients, and to any woman would be to learn that it’s not only okay to love yourself – it’s necessary.

In order to find professional success and make personal progress, you have to really back yourself. So shed any guilt associated with being a little self-centred, and start making decisions that will benefit you. That doesn’t mean you have to de-prioritise others. It just means that you’ll start coming from a place of love for yourself. Ultimately, you can’t be of service to yourself, your goals or the people around you unless you come from a place of self-love.

It also helps if you visualise what you could achieve if you were that little bit more confident. Question how much better your sales could be if you were just 10 per cent more confident, or what your business could look like if you were 20 per cent more confident. I guarantee you that if you look at things through this lens, you’ll start seeing the new and improved life that awaits you.

While shifting your mindset is the most important thing you can do, it can sometimes take your behaviours and actions a little while to catch up. But there are ways of conducting yourself that will help you to put confidence into practice, whether or not you really feel it yet.

When you step into a new situation, no matter how anxious or uncomfortable you may feel, ask yourself “how would a confident person act?” Challenge yourself to put yourself in the shoes of someone who knows how to own a room, and then be that person. You’ve seen it done before – and you can do it yourself.

Don’t worry if you don’t always say the right thing or if you do something wrong. Everyone makes a fool of themselves once in a while. The difference with confident people is that they don’t show it. Or better yet, they laugh it off, make a joke, and turn it into the next conversation piece.

When you act confident, even if it isn’t wholly sincere, you’ll reap the benefits. People will gravitate towards you, clients will start to trust you more, and new opportunities will begin to show themselves. But crucially, these are also the very same things that will help to boost your self-esteem.

Once you start to portray confidence to the world, the world will respond in kind. This knowledge has the power to catapult you and your business to new heights, because at the end of the day, everyone has the ability. It’s self-belief that makes the difference between failure and success.

Alexis Jane About the author

Alexis Jane is an uplifting and inspiring coach and best selling author, who specialises in helping women to stand in their power. Working with clients on issues of blockage, hesitation and procrastination, Alexis gently helps them to shift their mind-set and break through blockages, often with a dramatic effect on their business and personal life. Alexis recently contributed to an inspirational book entitled Change Makers 20 Stories of Inspirational Women, that details the personal journeys of a variety of female entrepreneurs.

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