If you are, you know what I mean when I say funk, right? But, let’s break it down for clarity….
I will leave it there, before we get too depressed looking at that list! DO NOT FEAR! IT AINT ALL BAD!
Trust me when I say that what you are feeling is normal and fixable! So, read on…
I am going to go out on a limb here and make the presumption that you are a conscious parent. By that I mean your instinct is to put the needs of your wee one’s before your own. You make conscious choices about how you parent. The health and safety of your children are paramount.
Ok, so you are conscious parenting. Great. But to what degree? Most women in this category take it a few steps too far. Sure, the needs of your child are super important, but when their needs are consistently met – and exceeded! – beyond your own, well…. “Houston, we have a problem!”
I know only too well what over-conscious parenting feels like. And, I know how tough it feels to find that happy balance between being the best possible Mum and prioritising my own self-care. With a little determination and some mind-set jiggles, you can be a conscious parent with balance, meaning those feelings above are improved dramatically.
I have just moved house and my son is experiencing some kind of separation anxiety. Despite consciously managing him and the move as best I could, giving him plenty of warning about the move, involving him in the packing, showing him the house before we moved there, having lots of conversations around the positives associated with the change we are experiencing and so forth, he is still suffering a level of anxiety which is basically manifesting in him literally being under my feet 24/7. It is exhausting! And it pushes lots of buttons! Sure, it’s a phase, it will pass, it is understandable etc etc but the fact remains, right here, right now, in my house, I have a child crawling all over me, even when I am on the loo! To top it off, the little angel has been off school ill this week too, so I have had no respite until today while he is being cared for by his Dad.
So, finding the balance between being a loving, attentive Mum and giving myself love and attention has been an extra challenge this week.
Over the years, I have discovered that if I feel low, joyless, tired (see list above) for no apparent reason, my internal alarm goes off saying, “Katie! It’s time to take care of yourself!” As a Self-Love Mentor, I have learned what I need to do to show myself care and love and in what quantities. I would not be serving my clients authentically if I had not identified that and then put it into practice regularly. So, my alarm is super loud and in my face!
To serve others. To serve my son. To ensure my home is a high vibrational, happy, joyful space. I MUST take care of myself FIRST.
So many Mums struggle with this concept. But if we are not meeting our own needs, we are not a lot of fun to be around. If we are not being heard (listening to our own desires), how can we be authentic, caring listeners? If we are not unconditionally loving ourselves, how can we give pure, unconditional love to our family? If we are not giving ourselves time and attention, the time and attention we give to our children is not coming from a resource that is abundant and joyful.
We can give authentically what we are able to receive. Start by giving to yourself.
If I do not care for myself, my Son suffers. Simple. How is that conscious parenting?
So my question to you is, what do you need to do to care for yourself more? What can you do for you which will mean you are better able to serve your family?
If you are feeling in a Parental Funk, it’s time to look at what you most desire in your life and look at how you can give yourself some of those things. Would hiring a cleaner free up some time for you to go for a run and clear your head? Would getting a sitter allow you to enjoy the cinema with your mates or a date night with your man? Would hiring a PA or VA free up your workload and allow you some time to read, walk or meditate? Could you work from home once a week enabling you to replace your commute with a sleep in!?
What limitations are you putting on yourself? What stories do you tell yourself around what you can or can’t afford, what you do or don’t have time for? Challenge your stories in the knowledge that investing in yourself far outweighs anything else, for all the reasons above.
And remember, we are Spirits having a human experience. Being a parent and facing all of the challenges that represents means we are being given an opportunity for growth. This is a chance for your soul to evolve into a wiser, more authentic, move loving being of light. Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to grow! Lean into the challenges. Stop fighting against them. Know that you are stretching into a bigger version of you. That’s quite an awesome opportunity, don’t you think?
As the age old and very wise saying goes, “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you”. Surely the way you treat your child is how you would want your child to treat you? With thoughtfulness, unconditional love and respect.
I am off to the spa for a swim and a steam. I LOVE DOING THAT! Doing what I love will have a ripple effect. My son will feel it. I hope you are feeling it too …. !
Here’s to doing more of what we love….