The Uncomfort Zone: Why is change so hard? | Nandip Aulak

Why is change so hard? Is it because we are wired to do the same thing over and over?  Is it fear of not meeting the expectations that we set ourselves or those set by others? Maybe it is a combination of both factors, but the one thing that is true is that in order to change one must leave their comfort zone.

Uncomfort Zone
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What’s so uncomfortable about leaving your comfort zone? I believe it’s because whenever you make a change it is normally for the better and you are taking a leap of faith into the unknown. There is nothing quite as uncomfortable then spending your entire life sat comfortably in your comfort zone.

“I know I’ll create a life plan… Or not!”

As someone who is organised and likes to plan ahead, I often would create elaborate life plans on very colourful spreadsheets. I was even able to convert my plans into graphs and pie charts to track the time to reach my destination. I soon realised that I simply cannot force anything in this life or stop it if it’s not meant for me. The one thing I couldn’t factor in was change.

Change is inevitable

I don’t resist change, which is not say it is not uncomfortable or doesn’t scare me, because it does. I find that regardless of whether I resist change or not, it will enter my life just the same. It’s important to remember that although change is inevitable, how you react is your choice and you can influence the outcome.

Here are some life changing and ‘uncomfortable’ moments that both scared and liberated me at the same time.

Outside my comfort zone moments! 

Moving to London…

I left my hometown, my old life and moved to the big, bright city called London. It was an exciting and lonely place to be. Did I learn that I could do it alone, yes I did, but that wasn’t my greatest learn in this experience. I was already an independent person and have  been since a young age. What I did learn was that I don’t have to do everything alone and that leaning on those around me and asking for help was okay. The process of being alone taught me that it’s not about embarking on a life journey alone, but about discovering who I want to be, and sometimes you have to leave the old you behind in order to discover that. Neither is it about leaving everyone you know, it is about leaving what does not serve you anymore. Learning about who you are is not something you can achieve alone, we all need people around us to find the best versions of ourselves, you just have to make sure that you surround yourself with the people that lift you, that push you to be the very best you can be.

Holiday with me, myself and I…

I was quite anxious about setting off to Dubai on my own. I did travel alone about two years ago, it was a five day break, I left after two days as I simply was not ready to spend time alone. So, this time round it was the thought of spending time alone with just my thoughts, no distractions, nothing to do, but take care of myself that scared me. Also, telling people I was going alone, and having to see faces of pity was uncomfortable as I felt judged. I did it anyway, and it was simply an amazing experience. What was so amazing about it? Absolutely everything, I didn’t want to come back! Simply stopping to notice the sun, moon, and stars and really seeing the world around me. I don’t mean noticing the hustle and bustle, I mean watching the sun rise and reminding myself that every day is a new day full of possibility and opportunity; listening to the ocean waves and remembering that power comes with calmness and moving with grace. After reflection, I realised that those people that found the fact I travelled alone ‘strange’ are probably those that are sat firmly and very comfortable in their comfort zones.

To end with a quote, as I love a good quote…As quoted by the great philosopher, Rafiki from the Lion King,

“Change is good but not easy.”
Okay, he might not be the greatest philosopher, but the quote is not far from the truth and I love a good Disney quote.

 

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